Hey Arnold! Unofficial Season 6
by krossfire
Summary: The Unofficial Season 6 as written by me! [Episode 9] Pigeon Mystery. Pigeon Man and Stoop Kid got into a fight after some of his pigeons poop on the stoop.
1. Eps 3: Chocolate Problems Part II

_Preface: _Right now, some of you people might think, 'Part II? There's a Part I?' Why yes indeed, good readers! Just click on my profile and click on the most suitable link. Now that's out of the way, let me introduce you to my new venture: **_The Unofficial Hey Arnold: Season Six_**, as written by me. Yeah, we're all disappointed that they no longer make any new episodes for our beloved TV show, so what the heck, I decided to make a season of my own. Well, I'll make it as long as Nick won't send me a Cease and Desist letter or something... >.> Hopefully they'll be a good sport. Um, yeah... about this fic, it's a sequel to a story that I made a year back and it's about Chocolate Boy and Campfire Lass. I just thought they deserved an episode of their own. Also the reason I'm writing this story is because I'm sorta tired of writing the Arnold gang as teenagers right now, but that's not saying that I'm discontinuing my other fics. I'll get back right at it after I'm not tired anymore. It's right back to basics, Arnold and gang as kids again, faithful (hopefully) to the show!

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**Legal junk: I don't own Hey Arnold, but Nickelodeon does and Mr. Craig Bartlett created it. But this fic belongs to me. Clear? Good.**

Episode 3: Chocolate Problems Part II

**I**

It was a sunny, merry and joyful day in PS 118, as the weather was inviting and the tone of the air was very friendly on that day. The day was perfect our two lovebirds – Campfire Lass and Chocolate Boy, who were ecstatic or blissful in every way, frolicking under the sun during recess in PS 118's small, yet safe playground, served as a sanctuary for all the children to let their worries go far, far away. Ever since the last chocolate incident, it ultimately and apparently destined them to be inseparatable. Every time, everywhere, they always held their hands together, skipping merrily to wherever they went, and there was always a broad smile on their face. They even came up with new pet names to identify each other, Campfire Lass with 'CL' while Chocolate Boy with 'CB'.

Their joyful euphoria was shared by almost everyone in school, but there were some of Chocolate Boy's classmates made fun of him for going out with a girl and let her cooties run all over him, but he shrugged it off anyway and thought his friends were jealous of him. Campfire Lass' colleagues criticized her for spending too much time with him rather than selling Chocolate Turtles, which was the major source of income of their group. But on the positive side, in reiteration, they being together brought joy and happiness to the other members of the school.

The fourth graders always smiled when they looked at them. Rhonda even nominated them as the cutest couple in school. Helga usually scowled and condemned them in front of the public, but when she was alone she always thought that she was inspired by them to have her relationship with Arnold, hopefully, to be just like those two. Gerald and Phoebe would sigh admirably at them and to each other every time when they saw them skipping together wherever they might go to.

The adult members of the school were gossiping about the new couple too. Nurse Shelley always talked about them with the lunch lady, saying that it was cute to see them together. The teaching staffs like Mr. Simmons and Mr. Packenham reminisced about their good old days when they were just as young as Campfire Lass and Chocolate Boy, having a puppy love relationship they used to have with some other girl in school. They somewhat brought old memories that they forgot to cherish and nostalgic moments when they were just a kid.

However, in spite of joyfulness being shared together, there was always somebody who didn't share the same sentiment. As Chocolate Boy and Campfire Lass skipped together into the school building and went by a row of lockers to their class after hearing the bell, one person stood up after rummaging through his locker. He held the door to his locker in a manic anger of a sort, and slammed it furiously, making a loud thunderous noise that shook up everyone near him. He turned around and saw those two euphorically walking together, side-by-side, holding their hands together. His green eyed jealousy was narrowed with a murderous gaze. There would be no way that gluttonous chocolate hog would get his way with _his_ girl. He then snapped his fingers to call his two faithful bodyguards.

"What's a matter boss?" one of them replied.

"I have a job for you two." He asked to his guards, "I want you two to bring Chocolate Boy into the Boys Room. I have some… business proposition to discuss with him."

"It will be done, Big Gino."

**II**

The two blissful children went on at their usual, walking together while holding each other's hand. Suddenly Campfire Lass stopped walking, and it was quickly followed by Chocolate Boy who was perplexed by her reactions.

"What's a matter, CL?" Chocolate Boy asked his girlfriend.

"Ugh, forgive me CB." She replied while holding her stomach. It seemed that her stomach had just acted up all of the sudden in the worst possible time. "I haff to excoose meself to the ladies room. It woon't be long, I be promise ya." She then dashed to the said room, leaving Chocolate Boy, alone and cold in the dank vastness of solitude. He just shrugged and waited for her as he made himself comfortable by leaning against a locker while eating a chocolate bar that he had kept it in his pocket. Radishes were _so_ last week.

As he enjoyed with the delicious, chocolatey treat, he wasn't aware of two large kids, walking down the hallway as if they owned the place or something, with their eyes locking into sight at Chocolate Boy. One of them put his hand on his shoulder, and Chocolate Boy took notice of their presence. The pupils in his eyes shrunk. In shock, he accidentally dropped the chocolate bar to the ground.

"Do you have anything to do right now, Chocolate Boy?" one of the guys asked him with an intimidating voice.

"Uh… I, uh… have class right now… yeah, yeah." he stuttered nervously while pointing his thumb to the back.

"Well, running a little late once in a while wouldn't hurt, would it?" then the both of them grabbed Chocolate Boy by his shirt collar, turned him around and clutched him on his shoulders. They then hauled him off to the Boys Room where Gino was waiting for him, to ask a business proposition to him. Mere seconds later, Campfire Lass emerged out from the Girls Room. False alarm. She quickly noticed that her love Chocolate Boy wasn't there waiting for her. She saw Chocolate Boy's favorite brand of chocolate on the floor, half-eaten. It wouldn't be Chocolate Boy if he ate the chocolate halfway through. She became worried all of the sudden and called for his name. "CB?" she called, "Chocolate Boy?" she then wandered off away from the bathroom, trying to find him.

One of the guards violently pushed the door to the bathroom away, to reveal to Chocolate Boy that Big Gino was waiting inside the bathroom, with an uncaring, cold, indifferent look on his face while putting his hands on the back, implying that he really meant business. There was a stick of some sort on his mouth, but it was soon revealed that it was just a stick to a Tootsie Pop, Big Gino's favorite kind of candy after he took it out from his mouth. It revolted Chocolate Boy that Gino actually consumed it while in the bathroom.

Chocolate Boy was jittering nervously in front of the calm, content Gino, as he examined him carefully with his vigilant eyes.

Gino then finally spoke, "Chocolate B—"

"AAAHHHHHHHHHHH!" Chocolate Boy shouted suddenly in fright.

"For cryin' out loud, I haven't done anything yet!" he sighed. "Look, Chocolate Boy." He put the candy back into his mouth. In a manner of a gentleman, he walked over to him, stood next to him and put his arms across his shoulders, "What I have _seen_… these past few days that you and Campfire Lass has grown very… intimate lately, am I correct?"

Chocolate Boy nodded nervously.

"So you're saying that…" he took the sucker out, "you're going out with her, aren't you?" he released his arms away and walked away from him.

With a restless stutter, Chocolate Boy replied, "Y-Yes…"

Gino turn around, "Now that's…" he motioned his index finger, "something that I'm not comfortable with. You see Chocolate Boy, just like you, I also like her, like her. But, unfortunately, suffice to say that," he smiled broadly and chuckled and twirled his candy, "You're in my way."

Chocolate Boy narrowed his eyes in alarm and shock. "W-What do you… mean?"

Big Gino then gazed at him a pierced, hateful eyes. He put the candy back into his mouth and he lunged towards him and grabbed his face by clasping his hands together onto his cheeks, "It means this, you little twerp!" he shouted in front of his face, spewing spit everywhere, "I _like_ Campfire Lass, and frankly, seeing her together with a chump like you infuriates me!" he shook his head violently, "Why should she waste her time with you rather than a rich and powerful 'entrepreneur' such as myself! Heck, she's an entrepreneur too! We're practically soul mates! But what perplexes me is that she is willingly going out with _you_!" and after a hateful glare, Big Gino then slowly calmed down and slowly released his hands from his face. He walked away from him and paused for a while. Chocolate Boy was visibly shaken after Big Gino threw a tantrum at him.

"I'm issuing an ultimatum to you, my dear friend." Gino said calmly as he turned around to look at him. "I want you to leave Campfire Lass."

"L-Leave?" Chocolate Boy responded nervously.

"What? Am I not making myself clear?" Gino replied back, motioning his left hand, "Yes! I want you to leave her, and I don't want to see you go near her, see her or talk to her. Do you understand?"

Chocolate Boy loved Campfire Lass, there wouldn't be any way he'd let him do this to him, "No Gino. I won't listen to you…"

"Aren't you defiant?" he walked over to him, "Well then, looks like I have to resort to my last solution. If you won't leave Campfire Lass, my friend," he took his candy out and gazed at it, "I'll have my cohorts to give you a 'swirly'."

"A-A… A 'swirly'?" Chocolate replied fearfully. A 'swirly' is an act which a person is being dunked into the toilet bowl whilst being flushed, for those who haven't seen the 'Big Gino' episode. Did I just reveal a spoiler?

"Yes. If you won't do as I say, I will hunt you down, bring you into this room and give you in a 'swirly' while one of my companions will a take a picture of you drenched in toilet water and put it on the school's message board for all to see. Do I make myself clear," he brought his face in front him, "Chocolate Boy?"

He could only nod in fear.

"Good." He then turned around and looked at his bodyguards, "Give him a warning." The bodyguards nodded, and he then left the bathroom.

Both of the bodyguards then grabbed Chocolate Boy by his arms and hauled him to one of the sink. One of the guards turned the faucet on and water started to gush out in large volume, almost making the sink to flood. Then the both of them grabbed Chocolate Boy on the back of his head and dunked his head into the sink. They repeated this action many times, until they grew tired of it. They then fixed their ties neat again and walked out of the bathroom, laughing. But as soon they walked out, came in Arnold. Arnold widened his eyes in shock to see Chocolate Boy sitting on the floor, drenched in water, with a scared and shocked look on his face.

"Chocolate Boy! What happened to you?" he shouted concernedly as he ran to him.

But Chocolate Boy didn't reply back. Instead, he just jumped up and quickly ran away from Arnold, and out from the bathroom. He saw Campfire Lass in front of her but he didn't stop and just ran past him. Campfire Lass looked at the fleeing boy with a worrisome gaze as she placed a hand over her mouth.

"CB?"

**III**

_After School…_

"I'm telling you, Gerald." Arnold said to his best friend, "It's like as if someone gave him the 'swirly' or something."

Sid interjected, "Oooh," he shuddered, "Could you please not mention that again? I really had a bad experience about it…" He, Arnold, Gerald, Harold and Stinky were walking together from school, talking with each other about events that happened today.

"Mmph, mmph, mmph." Gerald hummed in disbelief, "You're jumping to conclusions _way_ to fast, Arnold. Did he smell?" he asked while pressing the pedestrian stop button.

"What?" Arnold asked back quizzically.

"Did he smell?" Gerald reiterated back.

"Well… no, but he _was_ wet, that's for sure." The green pedestrian light lit, and they resumed their journey.

"See Arnold, that's why we don't make any assumptions before it's proven real, man. He probably was… uh, probably he was… um…" He tapped his chin thoughtfully. He couldn't think of a credible answer to support his theory.

"Well?" Arnold asked back.

"I'm thinking! I'm thinking!" Gerald replied back, "But what I do know, that he ain't gotten any 'swirly' from anybody, man. Trust me."

"But what if he did?" Arnold said back, in a detective sort of tone while stroking his chin, "And why would someone gave him a 'swirly'?"

"Aww c'mon Arnold, give it a rest already!" Harold whined, "Stop making up all your crazy deduction theories! It hurts my head!"

But Arnold continued, "And why he looked very scared when I saw him in the bathroom, as if someone just assaulted him or something? And why Gino's bodyguards were there when I came into the bathroom? This doesn't sound right, you guys."

"The only thing that ain't right is you, Arnold," Stinky said to him, "You're assuming too much."

"C'mon Arnold." Gerald said to his friend as he patted his back, "It's probably nothing. If you're worried about it too much, then I guess I'll help you investigate about it later after playing videogames at your house."

"Yeah man!" Sid said delightfully, "My finger's been itching to play that new _Soul Credible 2_ fighting game. You did buy it last week, didn't you Arnold?"

"Well yeah Sid, I did. But I think we have to—"

"Aww come on Arnold!" Harold whined loudly, which was followed by other members of his friend, asking for him to stop thinking about Chocolate Boy and focused more on pressing matters, like participating in playing a violent videogame that they shouldn't be playing in the first place.

"Oh, okay…" Arnold admitted defeat, "But you promise me Gerald, after we're done playing, we're going to investigate this."

"I'm a man of my words, brotha." Gerald replied coolly.

**IV**

_Next day in school, morning…_

Something strange was going on this particular day, as if it wasn't cheerful or happy like the previous days. All students could feel the gloom and chill that wrapped around them on that day. That was probably because it was cloudy that day, as nature prepared itself to give rain onto the city. The wind sent chills to their spine and small drops of rain could be seen falling from the sky. But aside from the bad weather, the looks on the student's faces weren't happy or cheerful either. Something was very wrong today. The talk of all people, Chocolate Boy wasn't present at all. The looks on his girlfriend's face, Campfire Lass, was depressingly upset. They usually were in pairs together, but on this unfortunate day, they weren't. Where could CB be, Campfire Lass asked concernedly to herself.

The bell rang, and everybody went into the school building, except for Campfire Lass and Arnold. The wind was blowing very hard, and thunder was heard crackling from far away. Arnold braved the wind and walked over to Campfire Lass, who, in a way describe her, like she was in those old movies, where the love interest of the protagonist was waiting alone dearly for her boyfriend to come back to her hands while the cold wind was blowing strongly, ruffling her hair and fluttering her clothes, while her face had this waiting hopefully and with concern look written all over. Arnold looked at her in pity, and asked:

"Campfire Lass?" Arnold asked, but Campfire Lass didn't budge from her position, "Are you coming to class?"

"No…" she replied weakly, "I'm… waiting for someone."

Arnold was concerned about her, but there was nothing he could do to help, "Okay then," he replied softly, "Make sure you go to class after whoever you're waiting for arrived." He chose not to say Chocolate Boy's name because he didn't want to upset her more.

Campfire Lass nodded weakly at Arnold, and continued waiting for her love as Arnold trudged into the school building, leaving Campfire Lass all alone in the cold, chilly and gloomy, unforgiving morning. Again, thunder boomed at some other part of the city, and rain began to fall onto the city. Yet despite it all, Campfire Lass still didn't budge from her spot, as she continued to gaze down the street in front of the school, waiting for Chocolate Boy. After minutes of waiting, she was drenched in rainwater and started to sneeze due to the cold. Amidst the sound of the downpour and the occasional thunder, she could hear a vague sound of a bus. The sound became louder and louder, and out from the unclear, hazy horizon, a bus emerged and went straight to her. Campfire Lass began to smile. The bus then stopped and out came Chocolate Boy, who usually was glad and happy to see Campfire Lass, but on this unfortunate day he was a complete opposite.

"What's a matter, CB?" Campfire Lass asked worriedly.

But Chocolate Boy didn't answer back, as he blankly gazed at her in a dejected, miserable look. Though he didn't want to leave her, and if he didn't, he'd be a goner for sure. With an extreme reluctance, he said weakly to Campfire Lass:

"I'm sorry CL… It's over between us…" he lowered his head down, and trudged inside the school with a crestfallen feeling rising inside of his heart. His eyes started to become watery.

Campfire Lass was totally heartbroken and saddened by Chocolate Boy's remark. All the beautiful relationship they shared with each other just collapse all of the sudden and so abruptly, without her knowing what was the real cause of why Chocolate Boy decided to make a hurtful decision like that. She bit her lips with her teeth, and she began to cry. She sobbed and bawled as she ran into the school building.

Inside of one of the warm, comfortable classroom, Big Gino sat next to the window while looking at the melodrama that just occurred in front of him. He gave himself a devilish broad smirk as he rubbed his hands with glee.

"Exxxxxxxxxcellent…" he said maliciously. Campfire Lass was all his now, now that Chocolate Boy was out of the way.

**V**

_Recess…_

The sky was cleared up of any dark clouds, and the sunlight penetrated through the clouds and shone a bright, brilliant light all over the city. But amidst the cheerful sun and the happy go lucky atmosphere, sat a poor little girl on a bench, crying. Campfire Lass sat forlornly on a bench in the playground, sobbing and crying, thinking of the unfortunate fate that was befallen onto her. How could he do this to me, she asked herself. Maybe the old Chocolate Boy started to act up again. He left her without any reason, explanation and justification, as if he was using her or something to gain to this own advantage. She felt like, he dumped her for no good reason at all.

The door next to where Campfire Lass was sitting opened, and she saw Chocolate Boy looked just as, if not worse, like her. He was miserable and dejected. He noticed Campfire Lass on the bench, and stopped as he tried to give her a smile. But, beyond her, somewhere near the dumpster, Big Gino stood against the fence with his legs crossed, one of his hands inside of his pants' pocket, and another one flipping a coin repeatedly, as he glared at Chocolate Boy, as if he was giving him a warning so not to screw around with him. Chocolate Boy hung his head, and reluctantly he walked away from Campfire Lass, looking puzzled and angered at his reaction. She continued to cry. It was time for Gino to make his move. He stopped flipping the coin, stood straight up and fixed his tie. He then strutted to Campfire Lass.

"I'm sorry to see you looking like this." Big Gino said to the crying Campfire Lass, "Not that it's a part of my business or anything, but what happened to you?"

"That dumb bag of haggis left me without saying why or anything!" she wailed.

Gino smiled a pleasing smirk to himself, "Man, what a jerk." He nonchalantly said as he sat next to her. Campfire Lass didn't mind. Gino then faked some sympathy and continued to console her and soothe from her broken heart. In turn, maybe Campfire Lass' naiveté would draw to his charms. What a playa.

**VI**

It had been three days now, and Gino started to show some progress with Campfire Lass. They could be seen walking with each other and exchanging jokes, but not as cute as she was with Chocolate Boy. People started to realize too that Campfire Lass suddenly started to hangout with PS 118 #1 loan shark, Big Gino. And rumors started to circle around the playground and the school compound too. Some said Campfire Lass dumped Chocolate Boy because Chocolate Boy cares more about chocolates than her, while others said Chocolate Boy dumped her because Campfire Lass was too busy with her business.

Campfire Lass was seen walking with Gino as they smiled and talked to each other. From afar, Chocolate Boy gazed at the two with frustration, sadness, grief and anger. Anger for the most part, was directed to Big Gino. He had this mental image of throwing him off on one of the bridges in the city as he laughed maliciously. He just lowered his head down in misery and walked around the playground without any particular destination to go to, to wander around aimlessly. The fourth graders were perplexed too by the sudden turn of events. The were at the jungle gym playing whilst talking to each other about Campfire Lass and Chocolate Boy.

"Can you believe what Chocolate Boy did to Campfire Lass?" Rhonda said to her friends, "It's like, one day they were inseparatable, then all of the sudden, he dumped her! And without any particularly good reason too!" it seemed that the news spread like wildfire.

"Rhonda, will you cut it out with the stupid rumors?" Helga said at her back. "How'd you know Chocolate Boy dumped her?"

"I don't think anybody dumped anybody." Arnold suddenly interjected, "Guys, see what I mean?" he said to his guy compatriots, "I think Gino has something to do with Campfire Lass and Chocolate Boy. I mean, look at them." He pointed to Gino and Campfire Lass, "Gino's practically using everything in his powers to be with Campfire Lass! He must've threatened Chocolate Boy!"

But the only answer he received was a collective moaning and whining of disapproval from his friends, asking him to shut up and just leave those kids alone. "For crying out loud Football Head, just leave them alone will you! It's none of your beeswax!"

"I'm just trying to help, Helga. There's something going on and I tend to get to the bottom of this. Gino must've done something to Chocolate Boy and make him just as miserable as he is now!" he then jumped down from the jungle gym and ran over to Chocolate Boy.

"One thing's for sure; he's a boooooooooold kid, man. A bold kid." Gerald said, which concurred by his friends in chorus.

"Not to mention persistent." Rhonda continued.

"And a class-A busybody." Stinky said, which to everyone's chagrin, they gazed at him with an angered stare. "What?" Stinky said nervously. "I'm just sayin'…"

"Pfft." Helga scoffed, "Arnold. What a dweeb." She then jumped down from the jungle gym and went to a secluded place in the playground, "What a nosy, meddlesome busybody." She looked around with her peering eyes, to make sure nobody was in sight. She even checked the garbage can near her incase Brainy was in his stealth mode. She then confirmed to herself that nobody was in sight, and so she took her golden locket with a bored looking Arnold for a picture out from a pocket inside the chest, apparently. "And yet, I love him."

She gazed at the picture of a bored looking Arnold admiringly and began to soliloquize, "Oh Arnold. You're the only person who makes my life seems worthwhile and my existence justified in this horrid, unforgiving world. I love the way you always go around and help people to show that you have pretty big heart inside and not being thoughtless and inconsiderate to others." She paused awhile, "Man, you're dumb." She said as he looked at her locket. She then continued her dramatic soliloquy, "It's one of the characteristics that make me love you so much, my love. But still I CURSE MYSELF—" she threw her arms into the air, "—for not bringing myself to tell you my deepest, darkest secrets wherein I could proclaim my love to you, my dear Arnold. Oh Arnold, why, why must I be put into your never ending spell of torment, and euphoria at the same time," a loud wheezing could be heard behind her. She abruptly stopped and turned around.

WHEN ALL OF THE SUDDEN NINJAS STARTED TO ATTACK! …oh wait, it was just Brainy, emerging from the trashcan that she checked earlier. Maybe he was a ninja after all, if he was there with Helga all along, even when she checked the trashcan. So according to their long, unbroken tradition, he then got punched by Helga. Boy did she ever felt good doing that…

**VII**

"Gino threatened you, huh?" Arnold said, "Says that he's going to give you a 'swirly' if you won't compel, is that it?"

Chocolate Boy nodded weakly.

"Chocolate Boy, I don't get it. You used to be head over heels over Campfire Lass. Then Gino came in and started to give you some lame threats, you just stop liking her?"

"What can I do, Arnold?" Chocolate Boy sighed, as he opened up a chocolate wrapper, "Gino made it clear, yeah, yeah, if I don't he'll do something terrible to me. I can't fight him. He's too powerful and has bodyguards! And what do I have?" he munched his chocolate, "Chocolate!" he said with a mouthful.

"But you have to do something, Chocolate Boy." Arnold said, "Stand up to him! Don't let him push you around. If you won't, you'll get pushed around by him for the rest of your life!"

Suddenly Chocolate Boy stopped munching, "For the rest of my life?" he said dreadfully.

"For the rest of your life." Arnold reiterated back.

Chocolate Boy started to think. Maybe Arnold was right. If he won't show any backbone now, Gino will continue to push him around and bully him forever. So he had his mind set, threw the chocolate away as a symbolism of defiance, and stood up with determination. "You're right Arnold." He said, "I'm not going to let Gino push me around anymore. If he wants to give me a 'swirly', then so be it!"

"_So it_ is _true…_" Arnold thought.

"I won't let Gino take CL from me! I love her! If he wants to take her from me he has to deal with me first!" he said with a sense of machismo growing in his heart. He than ran of to confront Gino.

Arnold stared blankly at the path where Chocolate Boy ran out to. "Well, that was easy…" he said to himself. Then he rethought of what Chocolate Boy just said to himself, "Oh my gosh, what have I done?" he said, in realization that a fight would soon develop between Big Gino and Chocolate Boy, which could seriously hurt Chocolate Boy if Arnold didn't intervene.

**VIII**

"Gino!" Chocolate Boy shouted murderously as he over ran to his foe, "I'm calling you out!" Gino stood in defiance and glared angrily at him. He then snapped his fingers to summon his bodyguards. It was too late for Arnold to intervene now.

"What do you want, twerp?" Gino asked him coolly with his eyes narrowed. By now, every kid in PS 118, except the ones who preferred to watch it from far away or didn't care, stood around the two boys in circles to watch the escalating tension between them and hopefully a schoolyard fight would commence after this. Campfire Lass was amongst the crowd as she watched them uneasily.

"I want my girlfriend back." Chocolate Boy said to him. Kids in the crowd hooted "OOOOOOOOOHHHH!" in unison of Chocolate Boy's remark to tease him that he actually admitted that he had a girlfriend. Campfire Lass didn't know whether to be flattered or not, since she felt that she was being used by him. "I love her." Chocolate Boy spat defiantly to Gino, which launched another round of hoots from the kids, which some of them gave a flirting, wolfish whistling sound. "And nobody, including you, will make me leave her!" Chocolate Boy continued, "I don't care if you give me a 'swirly' if I go near her or talk with her. Your threats don't scare me at all!"

Campfire Lass finally knew the truth, the reason why Chocolate Boy didn't talk to her and left her alone was because he was threatened by Gino, and only now he had the guts to fight him back. She was very delighted to hear this. But yet, she was still skeptical of Chocolate Boy's allegation.

"Hah! You don't have any proof to back up your claims!" Big Gino said with a broad smile. "For all we know, you're making this all up!" the crowded started to boo Chocolate Boy for making those false accusations. Chocolate Boy was in deep trouble now. How could he back up all his accusation of Gino while he had practically nothing to show?

"I have proof! I'm a witness." Somebody said. Everyone turned around to the jungle gym to see who said that to them. It was Arnold, standing on top of the jungle gym, as his friends looked at him quizzically. "Three days ago, I overheard one of Gino's bodyguards saying that they're giving Chocolate Boy a warning. So I wait for them to come out and when I came into the bathroom, I saw Chocolate Boy totally drenched in water. _That, _is your proof."

Gino looked back at Arnold with his eyes narrowed in anger. _"I should've given him a 'swirly' along with Sid when I had the chance…" _he thought bitterly to himself.

"Is it all troo, Gino?" Campfire Lass asked him accusingly.

Gino didn't answer her back. Instead, he glared murderously at Chocolate Boy and said, "We settle this once and for all." He then unbuttoned his prized Armani suit and gave it to one of his bodyguards. He now wore his undershirts, pants and shoes.

"FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!" chanted the crowd with extreme enthusiasm and hopefulness that they would fight. Gino put his fists up and jabbed the air. But Chocolate Boy stood defiantly and boldly said to him "I will not fight you."

"What's a matter? Scared?" Gino taunted him. Some laughs were heard coming from the kids.

"No. I'm not afraid of you." Chocolate Boy said back, "I'm not fighting you because Campfire Lass isn't a prize to be won over a fight. She's an individual, just like you and me. And I refuse to take part in this fight, yeah, yeah, because I know I'm more civilized than you." He apparently knew a lot of new big words now like 'individual' and 'civilize' ever since he hangout with Campfire Lass. Campfire Lass was so happy that he maintained his chivalry and gallantry.

Gino was very angry at Chocolate Boy's remark. He couldn't control himself. The hate was burning and raging in his heart. Without hesitation and thinking clearly, he jumped on Chocolate Boy, punched him and tried to choke him as they both fell down to the ground. The crowd was getting wilder and wilder, chanting "FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!" repeatedly and calling for each other to duke it out. Chocolate Boy tried to fight back by trying to pushing Gino away from him, but it was proven hard since Gino was gone totally ballistic, and not to mention berserk.

"STTOOOOOOOOOOOOPPPPP!" Campfire Lass shouted out loud, to break up the fight. Everyone went silent, as they all look at her. She was angry. She inhaled and exhaled loudly as she glared at Gino venomously. She then lifted her left sleeve up and walked over to Gino, only to give him a nice juicy yet hardcore punch on his face. Everybody gasped in shock. Gino hastily got up and held his nose in pain, trying to bear with it. His bodyguards quickly came to help escorted him out.

"You won't see the last of me!" Gino shouted threateningly as he pointed his finger at Chocolate Boy, while holding his nose with a tissue covering it. And after the crowd's approval and dispersal, Campfire Lass kneeled down and helped Chocolate Boy.

"Are ye okay?" she said, as she applied some first aid to Chocolate Boy that she learned. Campfire Lass ain't all about Chocolate Turtles, ya know.

"I'm okay CL," Chocolate Boy said, "I'm fine."

"Okay… if ye insist." Campfire Lass said to him, as she helped Chocolate Boy get up on his two feet again. The looked directly at each other's eyes, and the both of them blushed, as they darted their heads away embarrassedly, smiling. It was an awkward moment for them, as they observed the uncomfortable silence between them.

"So…" Campfire Lass finally said, "I'm glad that ye finally stand oop for yerself. What ye said is troo, then?"

"Which one?" Chocolate Boy replied shyly.

"About ye… do ye really… love me?" she asked again giddily.

"Yeah… yeah," Chocolate Boy replied again, "I think I am."

And suddenly, without any expectation or anticipation, Campfire Lass kissed him on the cheek. The reds in his cheeks flushed, happy and yet embarrassed at the same time when Campfire Lass gave him a peck. So Chocolate Boy grabbed her right hand, and they once more, merrily skipped away together wherever they might go.

"Another happy ending." Gerald said with a smile, as he and the other fourth graders observed the two couples from the jungle gym.

"All thanks to you, Arnold." Rhonda gave him a pat at the back, which Arnold responded with a broadening smile. Rhonda then looked at them again, "they sure make a cute couple together, don't they?"

"_I wish my relationship with Arnold will be just a cute as them or cuter…"_ Helga thought to herself, as she gazed at the two kids admiringly.

* * *

Well, how is it? Awesome or what? Or it just doesn't capture the spirit of the real show? Episode three you ask? Yep, **_Foul Mouth _**and **_Chocolate Problems_** is considered as a part of this fic. Recommend me what episode you want me to write (just look at my profile) and I might just obey your whim. Thank you for reading and please leave a review!  



	2. Eps 4: Here We Go

_Author's Note: _This fic is in serious need of update. I thought it'd be fun for the opening scene to have an episode of its own. I mean, what's not to like? It's fun, it introduces us to the Hey Arnold characters, and it's good. Not exactly memorable though, but cool.

* * *

**Legal junk: I don't own Hey Arnold, but Nickelodeon does and Mr. Craig Bartlett created it. But this fic belongs to me. Clear? Good.**

Episode 4: Here We Go

"Okay guys? Here we go, here we go! And a one, and a two…"

And an upbeat, catchy big band jazz music began to play with Harvey as the band leader. Though he was the friendly neighborhood mail carrier during the day, but during the night he was _the_ man at a jazz club somewhere in Arnold's neighborhood. His band would play so loud, that sometimes during the really quiet times in the neighborhood; the music could be heard by everyone. But nobody complained though since it was melodious and easy on the ear. And right on at this moment, there were group of little girls playing jump rope in front of the Sunset Arms boarding house, seemingly oblivious to the threats of going out during the night in an inner-city neighborhood.

On the other side of the neighborhood in a particular house of a particular room however, there was little girl who couldn't join them, because she was stressed out since she couldn't find her book. She had searched everywhere and in every nook and cranny of her house, overturning chairs and tables, and yet she couldn't find her book. She was absolutely frustrated. She then stopped for a while and tried to retrace her steps, beginning from after school. She remembered that right after the bell rang, she rushed out of the class and went straight to the bus stop. As she waited, more and more kids arrived and they too waited for the bus. Phoebe came along and began to chat with her. She remembered that she held the book tightly and it would be impossible if she accidentally dropped it. So it was clear to her that the book was with her at that time. After the bus arrived, she trudged into the bus and sat next to the window, as other children took their seats.

But by the time Arnold got in, the only seat available was next to Helga. Arnold took a deep breath and decided to seat next to her. Hopefully she wouldn't be mean to him, he thought. He thought wrong. She pulverized him brutally with every mean word in existence and some that she made up. She even cut some of his hair off when he was not looking. When Helga's stop arrived, she deliberately stepped on his foot and laughed at him. As she turned around to leave, some of the books she was carrying hit one of the seats, and she could remember vaguely that Arnold called her, but she chose to ignore it, and at this point, Helga made her assessment:

"ARNOLD!" she shouted loudly as she ran to the boarding house. The book was with him.

"Did you hear that grandpa?" Arnold asked his grandfather. He and his grandfather were having dinner in the kitchen in company of grandma.

"Arnold, I'm a frail old man and my ears ain't what they used to be." Grandpa replied back, as he flipped the newspaper.

"I think I just heard Helga called my name." he said back. "I wonder what she wants with me. Maybe it's about that small book…"

"Well, you better go and see what she wants, Shortman. Or else she'll be bugging and pestering you all night, making you weak and sleepy on the next day. Oh, by the way, bring the flashlight with you because the streetlights are out tonight. I heard they're doing maintenance at the transformer building tonight on the radio."

"Will do grandpa." And so Arnold took the flashlight out from the broom closet and headed to the door. Helga wanted to throw a tantrum at Arnold as soon as he opened the door, but suddenly she began to get weak on her knees. Meeting Arnold? At his house? On the front door? In the middle of the night? Oh, such thing would be a bliss just thinking about it. The knee weakening was the first stage of her extreme fearfulness. The waiting for Arnold was getting too tense and she could see her hands tremble. She started to become paranoid. What would happen if she accidentally blurted her feelings to him? She couldn't take the chances and had to flee to the house next to the boarding house.

Arnold opened the door, and letting out of all the pets that his grandmother found on the streets. "Strange… where is she? Hey the streetlights aren't out…" he said as he scratched his head. Grandma and grandpa quickly came into view.

"Where's the girl who's been hollering your name?" grandpa asked him.

"Maybe she's too shy to talk with you Arnold." his grandma said teasingly.

"Grandma…" Arnold looked at her, disapproving her tease, "I think I'll go and check around for a while… I'm worried about her all of the sudden."

"Well, don't talk to strangers, Shortman." And grandpa closed the door.

Helga gazed at her love dreamingly from the second story of the house she just went into. She couldn't believe that Arnold was actually worried about her wellbeing. She wanted to tell him that she was fine, that she just wanted to take shelter for a while in this house she just barged in, as the family inside who was watching TV together looking at her incredulously. So, in an unthinking move, she shouted, "Hey, Arnold!" It accidentally blurted out from her mouth. She got scared again, and quickly moved away from the window as Arnold aimed the flashlight at the window. He thought the silhouette wasn't Helga, so he just shrugged and walked out of the house as he waved at Rhonda, Phoebe, Nadine and Sheena who were playing jump rope in front of his house. All the girls giggled softly and responded by waving at him back.

Arnold continued his search for Helga as he walked about in the neighborhood. He could hear noises coming from the basketball court in front of him. He went in and to his surprise, Gerald and Stinky was there shooting some hoops. The night belonged to Gerald apparently, as he saw Gerald just scored another two pointers in the hoop. Mrs. Vitello who was looking at the boys whilst hanging her clothes at her balcony could only shook her head in disbelief at them for actually braving the night just to play some basketball.

"Hey, Gerald." Arnold greeted Gerald with their handshake. He then turned to Stinky and greeted him too. "What you guys doing here?"

Stinky slapped his forehead. "Dang Arnold, don't cha remember?"

"Yeah, we're supposed to play three-on-three basketball with the guys! Didn't we already tell you when we were at school today?"

"Uh, no… I don't remember…" Arnold scratched his head.

"Of course he ain't remember a thing Gerald." Stinky said, "On account he was oglin' Ruth McDougal when we were discussin' about the match at school today."

"Arnold…" Gerald shook his head, sighing. "How many times do I have to tell you, man? Older women are bad, bad news, and not to mention she's _way_ out of your league. And aren't you supposed to be head over heels over Lila? Ruth's been creeping back in your head again, isn't it?"

Suddenly they heard a crashing sound at the nearby alley, startling them for a brief moment. It was Harold, deliberately knocking a trash can down just because he could. He smiled when Arnold shone the light on him and but immediately came to disliking it. "Hey stop it Arnold! You're blinding me!"

"Heh…" he chuckled back. "Sorry Harold."

"So uh… am I the first one to be here?" someone said behind them. Both Gerald and Arnold turned around and saw Brainy, grinning broadly at them. The duo then replied back by doing the same.

"Looks like you're a little bit late, man." Gerald replied, as Arnold, Stinky and Harold walked over to Harold and smiled at Brainy.

"H-hey, Brainy." Harold said to him, "Do that thing you always do. Hey Arnold, give him your flashlight!"

Arnold nodded, and tossed his flashlight to Brainy. He was eager to know what Brainy do that made Harold like it so much. Brainy then put the flashlight under his chin and made spooky noises, much to Arnold's disappointment.

"That's it?" Arnold sighed, "I thought he was going to smack himself silly with it." he grabbed the flashlight again after Brainy tossed it back at him.

"Hay, look over yonder, it's Sid and Eugene!" Stinky pointed to the street at the front of the court. Indeed, Sid and Eugene were there, crossing the street.

"Five… six… seven…" Arnold counted in his thoughts as he muttered quietly, "Hey, there are seven people here. I thought we were playing three-on-three."

"Well, Eugene over here volunteered himself to be the referee." Sid said as he patted his back.

"Isn't it exciting, guys?" he said enthusiastically, "being the only authority on the court, as people conform to your every decision?" he then tripped on his own legs, and fell down face first to the ground. "I'm okay…" he said as he got up, rubbing his nose.

"HEY ARNOLD!"

"What was that?" Arnold said, slightly startled upon hearing someone shouting his name. He looked around and saw nothing but his friends, the neighborhood buildings and huge… large… yellow… bolded… giant text… just floating about above him, with his name in it, with the word 'HEY' next to his name, and an exclamation mark on the other. And right at this moment, he thought that he should layoff his intake of chocolate sundaes for the time being, before he loses it. Apparently, not any of his friends saw the giant floating text, after he asked them regarding it. And they thought Curly was crazy. But they did however, hear someone shouted for Arnold. This relieved Arnold since he might land in the nuthouse if he kept going on saying that he heard or saw things that other people didn't notice. So he asked them to join him to search for the mysterious voice who called him.

"What about basketball?" Sid protested.

"C'mon guys…" Arnold pleaded. "This is a mystery that we should investigate. The youthful curiosity in me demands it. Doesn't your curiosity also want to know the source of it as well?"

"Well uh…" Brainy said, "Not me uh… Not that I uh… want to go with you… uh… guys… but I think I'll stay here and guard the court… uh, yeah…"

"Okay. Anyone else?" Arnold asked to the rest of them.

Everyone else reluctantly agreed. Strangely enough, they were eager to know too. So they off walking to the place where they thought the voice originated. Along the way, they saw Nadine and Rhonda playing that rhythmic song hand clapping game (which real name escapes me right now… or there aren't any specific name for it at all…). It seemed that Phoebe and Sheena were at someplace else, doing something. And then the guys thought that the street they were walking along were pretty much deserted, and decided to walk in the middle of it. Very, very, smart decision.

"Arnold."

"There it goes again. Did you guys hear that?" Arnold asked his friends. Most of them nodded and looked around to see if there was anyone near them. But they couldn't find any. Up on the roof of a random house, Helga chuckled at the guys for seeing them getting more and more perplexed. She then decided that she should get the book tomorrow, since it was late anyway. So she got up on the bus and took a seat at the back. Suddenly she rethought of her decision again. She remembered that in one of the pages, she wrote something that _absolutely nobody_ should read. She stuck her head out of the bus and shouted:

"Arnold!"

Arnold was like, "WHOA!" and stuff, and looked around to find who the heck had been saying his name for several minutes repetitively.

Helga got out from the bus and went to an obscure place to soliloquize about her love. A few minutes wouldn't matter. "Oh Arnold… my ray of hope, my reason for escapism… my love." She spoke poetically as she gazed lovingly at a bored picture of Arnold in her heart shaped bo—… locket. Yeah, locket. Not box, locket. "The dashing visage of your odd and somewhat disturbing head shape longs for my affectionate display of zeal. Oh how do I want to gently run my hand through your soft, flowing yellow maize hair and whisper softly to your ear that I, Helga G. Pataki love you." She put the locket back inside of her shirt and pulled out a chalk out of her pocket.

"And with this yellow colored chalk that I just so happen to have conveniently lying around in my pocket I will carve the name of my beloved on the street to show my affection towards that wonderful man…boy, child." She said dramatically and began to write his name on the street. Every letter was written in perfection and without any sort of error at all. After etching the last letter, she looked at her flawless work in admiration, thinking that her love was also as flawless as the word 'ARNOLD' that she wrote on the street.

_HONK HONK_

No, it wasn't Skeeter. A car was zooming through the road and the driver blare the horn to ask Helga to move away. Helga screamed and quickly moved away to avoid from getting hit. The car rubbed off some of the chalk that Helga had earlier meticulously written and left with the word '4PVUI)'. Helga looked at her flawless work in sadness. She devoted five minutes of her life just to write the name of her beloved and suddenly that car just waltz in and destroy it.

Oh well, she shrugged. She was still young and there would be plenty of time to devote herself to do street art, otherwise known as graffiti. She then smacked her forehead – she had forgotten all about her book the she supposed to take it back from Arnold.

"Arnold!" she shouted. But the weirdest thing happened. Arnold didn't replied back nor he went to her to meet her, but instead Phoebe, Rhonda, Sheena, Nadine and Ruth (of all people) came to her.

"Hey, I called Arnold, not you guys." Helga said to them in a slight quizzical tone.

"Well, we and the girls," Phoebe replied, "think that it'd be the best if we just group together and aid you in search for Arnold."

"What's your beef with him this time Helga?" Rhonda demanded, with her arms crossed and skeptical looks and all, "Meh, it doesn't matter." She shook her head, "I'm helping you just because I want to see Arnold getting pummeled by you."

"Rhonda… I'm shocked…" Nadine said in surprise, putting her hand on her mouth. She had always thought that Rhonda enjoyed good friendship with Arnold.

"It's nothing, Nadine." She assured her friend, "It's just that I haven't seen a good fight ever since the fiasco between Big Gino and Chocolate Boy last week."

"I think violence is bad." Sheena said, which was her only line in this story. Poor girl, always got the short end of the stick.

"Eh, what do you know you pacifist." Helga scoffed at her. She then shifted her eyes at Ruth and looked at her murderously, "And what the heck are you doing here? You want to hang out with us or something?"

"Hanging out with fourth graders? Eww, as if!" Ruth replied back. "I'm just so happen are on my home. Don't mind me."

"So if you're not hanging out with us then how come you're walking with us?" Nadine asked her.

"_Hel-lo! _My house is just down the road!" She pointed towards. "I'd be caught dead if someone sees me with a bunch of fourth graders!"

"_It's times like this I sure prefer Lila to be here right now rather than_ her…_" _Helga thought irately. _"Speaking of which where is she?"_

"IT'S TIME FOR AMERICA'S MOST HUMOROUS SELF-INFLICTED INJURIES!" the announcer in the television said.

"Ooh, daddy! Come on, the show is about to start!" Lila shouted to her father from the living room. Her daddy was in the kitchen, making some popcorn.

Helga and the gang then walked out of the alley and into the middle of the road. And so were the boys. Apparently both of the gang wasn't afraid at all of the dangers of walking in the middle of the road. This could be the moral lesson of the story, be careful crossing streets. Always look left and right before crossing. And if a stranger wanted to give you a ride, just nod and agree to the offer. …Okay, don't follow that last part.

So, both of the boys and girls gang stopped in front of each other, with their eyes provoking for a fight. They stared at each other murderously, as if they were at a showdown in O.K Corral. The only things that were missing were their cowboy garments, dirt road, wooden buildings and horsies. Arnold made the first step forward, followed by his best friend Gerald, then Harold and Stinky. _"So it's Helga who's been saying my name all the time…"_

Helga just had this slight smirk on her face, and stepped forward. "ARNOLD…" the neighbors along the street opened their windows and poked out to see the commotion was all about. Why was a bunch of kids standing in the middle of the street shouting to each other and basically disrupting their peace?

"HEY YOU KIDS SHUT UP!" Mr. Hyunh scolded them and promptly shut the window. The other neighbors concurred with him and told the kids to shut up too. And then they went back to their business.

Time was short, and Helga thought she needed to end this fiasco quick. Rhonda, Nadine and Phoebe, stopped forth next to her. Arnold let a slight smile carved on his face, and chuckled a bit. He walked towards the girls. Helga was temped, and she too walked up to him. Then the two big adversaries stopped in front of each other, sizing each other up.

"_Holy crud Helga is taller than me…"_

"_Oh my gosh, he's sooo cute when he's so up front!"_

"So Arnold, is that a book in your pocket or you're just happy to see me?" Helga asked her, with half of her unibrow lifted, her eyes looking at him irately with her arms crossed.

"Oh yeah, sorry." Arnold then took the little book out from his pocket and gave it to her. Helga scoffed and just snatched it away from him and quickly put it inside her pocket. "If it makes you feel any better, I didn't read a single word from that book."

"Well, that's good to hear." Helga nodded back.

"But I'm curious though, could you just give some—"

"MOVE IT FOOTBALL HEAD!" Helga screamed suddenly at him. The force of her breath was so strong that it made Arnold's hair blew away and nearing making himself fell to the ground. But he managed to gain back his balance back, and like a gentlemen, let the lady walked by him. His friends were disappointed; that the entire hullabaloo was for a dumb book and no fights at all?

"HEY, ARNOLD!" his friends shouted collectively. "You've got some serious explanation to do, man!" Gerald said to him.

Arnold turned around for an unexplained reason, _"AND IT JUST HAPPENED AGAIN!" _he screamed in his mind. He again, saw a giant yellow text appeared just below his waist that read 'CREATED BY' and 'CRAIG BARTLETT' just below it. And on this moment on, he thought not of his mental condition, but the philosophy behind his own existence. Created? By who? Were he, his family and his friends were just an image of a creation of a man? What was his purpose in life? Was he purposely created just because for monetary benefits of a capitalistic corporation? Or was he created in the name of creativity and to give hope and happiness to millions of children worldwide? The question was just as ultimate as the question of life, the universe, and everything itself. And where the heck he left his flashlight?

* * *

It's very lighthearted for sure, since I need a getaway from the serious drama from enveloping from _that_ story that I'm writing right now. The upcoming chapter for 'Run' will be available next week hopefully, as I am still contemplating over the contents in that chapter. Well, thanks for reading and please leave a review.  



	3. Eps 5: Desperate

_Author's Note: _With 'Run' finally finished, I can finally concentrate my other stories such as this one as it seriously in need of an update. I must credit _Mr. Orange_ and _Number6_ for this story though, since they're the ones who gave me this idea. I'm a Lila fan, and I'm kinda peeved that most episodes about her are always about her relationship with Arnold and make Helga angry and jealous. Now, we're going to see a different side of the girl, and focuses on her on being one of the poorest kid in class. And since don't know much about Social Service role in this kind of situation, I can only hope it's being done right. All has been said and done, and now here's the story of Lila.

* * *

**Legal junk: I don't own Hey Arnold, but Nickelodeon does and Mr. Craig Bartlett created it. But this fic belongs to me. Clear? Good.**

Episode 5: Desperate

**I**

The bus ride home was a long one for Mr. Sawyer, as he looked at the moving scenery sorrowfully while holding an envelope on his hand. Inside the envelope, there was a pink slip saying that his employment was terminated because the company he was working with was downsizing, a euphemism for a job layoff. He couldn't believe that his company would do this to him. He worked hard all day and night just to make ends meet. And even with all the hard work he did for his company they decided to stab him in the back. He now has no income. And without income, he wouldn't be able to support his only daughter. The thought of Lila being raised at a near poverty line really made his heart sink. He wanted the best for his daughter and as a father he wouldn't give up. He will bounce back up and find a new job again. But, should he tell her the predicament he was facing right now?

To have a kid like Lila to hear that her father was fired would be absolutely devastating for her, since she was totally depending on her father for everything. What would she react if she learnt that her father had no job at all and had no money to take care of her? And he feared the worst: what would happen if the Social Service knew about it? She'd be taken away to foster care for sure. That was the most absolute nightmare for him to bear if something like that happened to him and his beloved daughter.

It was a few hours before sunset and Lila should be at home by now. He got out from the bus and trudged worriedly to his house. A lot of thoughts lingered in his mind, mostly about Lila and his employment. Should he break the bad news to her? Or should he not tell her so she wouldn't be worried about him? What kind of job he would go after for a person such as himself? Being raised in a farm all of his life, such skills aren't necessary in the big city such as this. He got lucky on the first job he got in the city. He arrived in front of his house but somewhat reluctant to go in, knowing that the cheerful greeting that her daughter always gave him when he arrived home would worsen his guilt. After much thought and after he took a deep long breath, he went in.

Upon hearing the front door being closed, Lila quickly exited the living room and smiled at her father, "Hi daddy!" Lila greeted him cheerfully and ran up to him. Mr. Sawyer lowered his head to her level and Lila gave him a peck on his cheek. She would always do that as to relax her father after a hard day's work. "You're home early today, daddy. Is there something wrong?"

"_Yes Lila… there's so many…" _he replied back in his mind, not having the courage to tell his only daughter the bad news. He shot her a very weak smile and reluctantly replied, "There's nothing wrong, Lila. I just thought I want to go home early."

"Oh, that's nice." Lila replied back with a smile, although she had a feeling that there was something going on, since she knew her father wouldn't be home early at this time of hour unless there was something bad happened.

"C'mon, let's go to the kitchen," her dad said with a weak smile, "Let me cook while you tell me everything that you did at school today."

"Okay!"

**II**

Spaghetti in a can. Delicious. Mr. Sawyer took two of them out from the cabinet and opened it up as he listened to his daughter telling a story about how was her day in school today. He had hoped that her stories would be an ample distraction from his worries right now, as listening to her stories really lighten up his day.

"I'm somewhat surprised that Arnold has stopped helping me carrying with all of my books today because he used to insist on carrying them before. He's ever so sweet but his pestering can be annoying from time to time. Still, I try to be nice, daddy." Lila said sweetly, "It will be ever so rude and inconsiderate if I ignore him."

"Mm-hmm." Lila's dad replied and nodded as he plopped the spaghettis onto the frying pan. Lila then continued her story, "And there's this girl called Helga. I tried to be nice to her, but… I don't know…" she lowered her head, "It seems that everything that I do infuriates her." she then suddenly changed the topic, "Mr. Simmons taught us about this city's history today at school. Did you know that this city was once a huge landfill?"

"No… I don't really know…" Mr. Sawyer replied back with a soft smile. Lila then resumed telling her story to her father as he waited for the spaghetti to cook. She touched on every topic that a little girl would likely to say, such as boys, homework, ponies and friends. The spaghetti was cooked to perfection, and Lila's dad put them onto a plate for his daughter. It took Lila by surprise as she watched her dad shoved the plate at her.

"Daddy, aren't you eating?" she asked worriedly.

"I already had lunch, Lila." He lied reluctantly to her, "Don't worry about me." He then gave her a smile to ease her worry a bit. Still skeptical, she began eating whilst her father watched her eat every bite. Yet, Lila was uncomfortable because this was the first time that her father refused to eat with her since they would always have breakfast, lunch and dinner together. Halfway through, she stopped eating and asked again:

"Are you sure?"

Slightly irritated, Mr. Sawyer kept his coolness and replied, "Really Lila. You just finish your meal."

"I think I'm rather full, daddy." she replied.

"Please, don't waste it Lila." Her father pleaded back.

Lila gazed back at her father with a worried look as she was rather surprised at his response. The last time he said something like that to her was when they just moved in to the city and he was without work. She began to worry. "Please daddy. Is there something that I need to know? I'm really worried about you."

With deep sigh and much contemplation regarding it, he reluctantly replied to his daughter, "Lila… I'm not sure how you'll going to accept this but…" after a lengthy pause, due to the words were difficult to say to his daughter, he then forced himself to say, "we're going to face tough times ahead… all that I can say is that… we have to save our expenses as of now… I hope you'll understand…" he said with solemn, gloomy tone, almost had a hopelessness feeling to it.

"Oh…" Lila replied, trying to remain calm. She tried not to dig into it further as she did not want to depressed herself and her father. But deep inside her heart she knew that situation like this was about to begin again, just like when they arrived in this city for the first time. "Don't worry daddy… everything is going to turn out fine…" she said with her trademarked optimism voice.

"I really hope so, munchkin. I really hope so…" he gave her back a worried smile.

Lila then got out from her chair and slowly walked up to her father, and they embraced one another to give strength and some comfort and security.

"What's going to happen to us?" she asked worriedly, finally confided to her concerns.

"I don't know…" Mr. Sawyer whispered softly, "I don't know…"

**III**

_Couple of days later in PS 118…_

"There are five oceans in this world, class." Mr. Simmons said as he walked around the class, "Who can tell me the five oceans in this world?"

"Ooh! Ooh! Ooh!" Harold rose up from his seat and raised his hand, as he enthusiastically wanted to answer the question, "I want to answer the question!"

"Okay Harold, you tell us." Mr. Simmons pointed to him, smiling proudly at him, _"Ah… it seems that he's showing interest and keen to study." _He thought to himself.

"Pacific, Artic, Indian, Atlantic, and Jersey!" Harold answered proudly, but right now everybody was laughing hard at his answer and made Harold embarrassed and frightened at them, "Stop it!" he demanded futilely, "Stop now or I'll pound ya!" but nobody stopped laughing and Harold's eyes began to brim with tears.

Mr. Simmons tried to conceal his laughter by putting his hand over his mouth as he too couldn't help but to laugh at him. But as a teacher, he would get in trouble if Harold saw him laughing at him. Mr. Simmons bit his lower lip and finally the laugher was suppressed. "Okay, okay class. Calm down." But the class didn't. Mr. Simmons scanned around to see everybody was laughing at Harold, except for Lila. Her head was put on the table and her arm wrapped around it to conceal her depressed look. But Mr. Simmons could see her worrisome state, and he realized that he should consult with her after the class session is over. "Class, quiet down please." And moments later, the class finally stopped laughing.

The teacher continued, "Four out of five answers the Harold given was true, and I commend him for that." He had his eyes on Lila, and decided to test the theory on her, just to make sure whether she was depressed, tired or just too lazy, which the latter was an unlikely trait to describe Lila. "Lila?" Mr. Simmons called, and Lila slowly lifted her head up. Mr. Simmons was a bit stunned to see her eyes were all bloodshot and weary. "Could you correct Harold's answer?"

After much thought, she replied, "I'm ever so sorry Mr. Simmons, I wasn't paying attention much…" the whole class gasped, except from some of her rivals, like Helga, Rhonda and Phoebe. Helga was smirking broadly, Rhonda was happy to hear that, while Phoebe, although she was a bit stunned and worried, but was glad that she couldn't answer the question. Her attitude, fashion and academic rival were all happy to see her like that.

"Uh… well…" Mr. Simmons rubbed his head, "I guess I should ask someone else then. And uh, Lila, can I see you after class?" Lila nodded weakly, "Okay… So Curly, what's the answer to the last one?"

"Um…" he contemplated as he rubbed his chin, "The Southern Ocean?"

"Correct." Mr. Simmons nodded.

"Wow," Curly said in awe and amazement of himself as he gazed at his hands, "and I gave a random shot at it. I must be gifted! I have discovered a new power! I can foresee the future! With these newly gained powers I can finally rule the world! AHAHAAHAHAHA!"

"You just got lucky, stupid." Sid scoffed at him.

"You're just jealous at my new powers." Curly scoffed back. "UNLIMITED POWER!" oh how he wished he could forced lightning out from his fingertips and zap Sid with it.

And then in complete suddenness the bell rang. The students got up from their seats and proceeded to the cafeteria. "Remember, we're learning about continents after this!" Mr. Simmons said to them all while pointing a finger up, which he questioned himself why did he do that. Lila trudged wearily to Mr. Simmons' desk and stood in front of him. Mr. Simmons was stunned to see her in such a depressed, melancholic state. And she used to be the most cheerful girl in school. This concerned him. A lot of images suddenly popped into his mind, trying to deduct what was actually happening to her.

"Lila?" he said, whilst twiddling his fingers nervously, "I've observed you for these couple of days lately, and to be honest I'm very concerned about you. You're not the Lila that I remember. What happened to the cheerful optimism and keen enthusiasm to study that you've always show to us?"

"Oh…" she replied dejectedly, "It's just for a couple of days, Mr. Simmons. I'm ever so sure I will bounce back after this."

"Is there something troubling you at home?" Mr. Simmons asked again. Lila was a bit stunned, and decided not to divulge about the dilemma that she and her father was currently facing.

"No… there isn't any sir." She replied, forcing a weak smile. The tone of her voice was not convincing at all, but Mr. Simmons decided that he shouldn't pressure her even further.

"Okay then…" he replied dissatisfiedly, "But let me know if you have any problems."

"Okay. Thank you ever so much." She then slowly walked away from him and opened the door. But when she was outside, she forced herself to put a smile on her face as she brushed off her skirt a little.

"Come on Lila!" Sheena shouted from afar, and Lila walked up to her. Mr. Simmons watched her from the classroom and he was very skeptical about Lila's behavior today, and the day before. "Hmm… something's not right." He said to himself, as he stroked his imaginary beard.

**IV**

Lila was walking slowly to her house as she thought of her family's worrisome state. She stared down to the pathway she was walking on, hugging her books with a gloomy expression on her face. In her mind, she really hoped that it wasn't what she thought it would be: which were she and her father went broke again. Her father had told her that they will face tough times ahead, and she would try her best to live through it, but she didn't know herself how she would cope with it. Upon arriving at her house, she was reluctant to go in, as she saw her father talking to an unknown person from the window, and she could hear her name was said indistinctly. She decided not to interrupt them, and felt like she should hear them what they were saying. She then climbed up on one of the trashcans near the window and tried to balance herself on it.

She peered into the window and slowly opened it a little to let the sound coming from the living room be clearer. She could see her father sitting on the couch while the stranger sat on another seat. She positioned her head closer to the window and began to eavesdrop on them.

"How much time can you give to me?" Mr. Sawyer said weakly as he hung his head looking at the floor miserably.

"Only a month, but that's because your former employer was kind enough to give you a pay advance before they laid you off." The stranger said as she showed him a piece of paper.

"Yeah…" he scoffed back, "Kind enough to lay me off…"

Lila put her hand over her mouth in shock, "Laid off?" she gasped in horror.

"Look…" the lady stranger sighed, "You're a good father and parent, Mr. Sawyer, and it hurts me to do this to a person like you. But you must know, if you don't have a job, you won't be able to make money. And without money, you won't be able to raise your daughter. And… if you don't secure a job within a month…" she paused for a while, reluctantly trying to say it to him, "I'll have to take her away and put her into foster care…"

Lila turned away from the window and leaned against the wall with both of her hands in the middle of her chest. All the books that she was holding fell down. She was trembling in fear to know that there was a probability that she could be separated from her father, someone that she cared and loved so much. Tears began to fall from her eyes, fearing for herself and her father. With her whole body still shaking and trembling, she weakly stepped down from the trashcan, sat against the wall and began crying.

"I'm sorry…" the stranger said as she patted Mr. Sawyer's shoulder. He was brimming with tears. He felt like he was such a loser because he couldn't raise his own daughter right. What kind of father was he, he thought to himself. "I'm just doing my job…" the lady said weakly, but she knew it wouldn't draw any reply back from him. "Promise me Mr. Sawyer, think of what's best for your daughter. Promise me that you will find a job."

Back outside, Mr. Simmons was shocked to see Lila sat hugging her legs whilst putting her face on it. "Lila?" Mr. Simmons asked, and Lila gazed sorrowfully at him. Her whole face was full with tears, as she continuously sobbed wistfully. Mr. Simmons was extremely touched and brokenhearted to see her like that, and decided to comfort her. But as soon as he walked up to her, the lady who spoke to Lila's dad earlier opened the door and saw them.

"Sir, who are you and what happened to that little girl?" She asked Mr. Simmons with an alarmed tone.

"Oh, I am Mr. Simmons, Lila's teacher at PS 118. I came here to see her father to ask what has been troubling her these past few days." He replied back. And then Mr. Sawyer walked out from the house and was shocked to see his daughter crying on the street.

"Lila?" he called worriedly. Upon hearing that, Lila ran quickly to his father and hugged him tightly.

"Daddy, please! Please don't leave me! Don't let them take me away from you!" she pleaded and cried, like she felt there was no hope for her anymore.

"_Oh, man! How did she know?"_ Mr. Sawyer thought worriedly to himself, and he immediately hugged her back tightly to comfort her and said to her, "It's okay honey, it's okay! Daddy's here. I won't leave you alone! I love you so much Lila! And I will not let anyone take you away from me! It's a promise!"

"Please daddy…" she pleaded again, hugging her dad tightly, as though she wouldn't want to let him go. The lady wiped her tears with her thumb whilst Mr. Simmons just looked at the touching scene in stunned silence. Something must be done.

**V**

_On the next day…_

"Class, I have a very troubling news to tell you today…" Mr. Simmons said, standing in front of the classroom. "The reason why Lila isn't here is because I sent her to counseling so we could begin this meeting. So don't tell her that I deliberately sent her there just so we could hold this meeting up."

Phoebe raised her hand, "Mr. Simmons, why is this meeting so secretive that we can't divulge it to her?"

"Well…" he replied as he fiddled with his thumbs, "She's having a problem at home—" and there was a ripple of murmurs and whispers from the class, "quiet please, class. Let me finish." Mr. Simmons said again, "Okay. So, I'm asking you, as her friends and classmates, to do whatever it is possible to make her… well," he shrugged a bit, "feel comfortable and not lonely."

"I think the latter won't be a problem Mr. Simmons." Helga replied.

"And why is that?"

"Because more than half of the boys in this grade just won't leave her alone." She replied back scathingly. All the boys in class looked at her back in a displeased gaze. As much as they wanted to deny it, her remark did hold a lot of credibility.

Mr. Simmons sighed and shook his head to shrug off her comments, "Please class. Be sincere to her. She's going to face a lot of challenges ahead, so I hope all of you will be as helpful as possible." Stinky raised his hand.

"Mr. Simmons, I may be intruding, but could you tell us wut kind of problem is she facing?"

"Um… I think I'm not in the liberty to say…"

"Aw, come on Mr. Simmons." Stinky replied back. "How can we offer our help if we ain't have the faintest idea wut her problem is?" in class, he was concerned about Lila the most of them all. And his classmates agreed with his statement as they too, curious about Lila's problem.

After much thought about it, Mr. Simmons finally caved in to their plea and said to them, "Okay, but promise me that you will keep it low profile." Most of the class nodded, "Lila's family is having a financial problem as his father just got laid off."

Some of them gasped in shock, and again there were murmurs and whispers coming from the class. Sheena suddenly raised her hand, "Mr. Simmons, what's a layoff?"

He then explained to her and the class altogether, "A layoff is when someone got fired unexpectedly and without any reason at all because the company that he or she is working for is trying to save some money. Lila's father is, unfortunately a victim of this procedure."

And there was even more gasps of shock from the class. Now Rhonda, Helga and Phoebe were feeling guilty about badmouthing her yesterday. "So Mr. Simmons, what do you propose?" Rhonda asked him.

"Well… Mr. Simmons replied, thinking about it, "Any kind of help would be appreciated of course, but try to ease her pain by contributing something that she need in her time of hardship. Be a good friend to her."

**VI**

_Lunch time, playground…_

"Oh man, I couldn't help but to feel sorry for Lila." Rhonda said to her friends on the jungle gym. "She's poor enough as it is, and she has to go through this again? Man… it's hard to imagine being in her shoes…"

"Well, you're rich Rhonda, so it's obvious that you have a hard time trying to imagine it." Helga replied back, which Rhonda responded back by looking at her irritably.

"Speaking of Lila, where is she now?" Nadine asked.

"Still at the counselor's office. I don't know what the heck are they doing to her." Sid replied.

"We have to do something to help her fellas." Stinky suggested to them all.

"Oh look, it's Mr. Knight in Shining Armor." Helga said sarcastically as she pointed to him, "Well, what do you propose, Stinko?"

"Well, I do declare that we should pull our resources together and buy her something nice?" he said to all of them.

All of them stared at him blankly.

"My word, you're even worse than the Football Head." Helga rolled her eyes.

"Wow, so how come you suddenly become the leader of this pact, Helga?" Gerald asked her, "I thought you hated the girl."

"Well, I just love to boss people around you boob." Helga shrugged back. "Sides, I'm venting my anger out since my dad couldn't keep his mouth shut about one of his best beeper sellers just quit!"

"Omigosh Helga just said a dirty word!" Sid exclaimed accusingly whilst pointing a finger at her.

"I have an idea." Arnold said to them in the midst of it all. "Or how about if we individually help her in our own way?"

"Or better yet," Stinky said, "Why don't we collect money for her? Kinda like a donation or something?"

"I think both of your ideas have a lot of merits to it." Phoebe nodded approvingly.

"Hmm… I could ask daddy if his company has any job offerings and save Lila's dad the time from job hunting." Rhonda said. And everyone began to contribute their ideas amongst themselves to help their friend, with the exception of Helga. Helga was in the group, but couldn't produce any suggestions to them as she was reluctant to tell them, even though she had numerous proposals to help her out. She felt like if she helped Lila, then she would help her most intense rival. As they continued to discuss about the matter, Arnold was a little perplexed to see Helga just sat there not saying a single word.

"Helga, do you have any suggestions at all to help Lila? We could use some of your suggestions if they're good."

Noticing the way that Arnold noticing her, she sighed admirably at him, but then she immediately snapped back, "Nope. I'm drawing a complete blank." She replied nonchalantly.

The nonchalant reply made Arnold frown at her, "Helga, I know you don't like her much, but at least be considerate to help her in her time of crisis."

"What?" Helga exploded, and unintentionally making the discussion stopped instantly as the gang looked at her in shock, "You think I don't care about the problem she's facing right now?"

"Technically yeah, Helga." Stinky interjected and accused her, "Ya hated her ever since she came into town, and it's obvious that you want to see her suffer!"

"_Don't_ you accuse me like that, Stinky!" Helga retorted back fumingly, "Regardless of my view towards her, I do have a sense of compassion for other people!"

"Well prove it then!" Rhonda asked her skeptically.

"Guys, please… stop it." Arnold intervene the fiasco by walking in the middle of them and stretched his arms wide, and the argument instantaneously died down. "Arguing won't help her or anyone else, so let's just concentrate on our efforts, okay?" After a collective nods and agreements from his friends, the party resumed back discussing about Lila, with the exception of Helga, who stood alone out from the group, looking at them forlornly in realization she was being excluded. Arnold, being the most sympathetic of them all, tried to make all parties contented, in which including to calm Helga, even if she was labeled as an antagonist in this tale by her friends.

"Don't worry Helga." Arnold said to her calmly, "They'll come back to their senses."

"Yeah, right." Helga scoffed back, closing her eyes tightly.

"I trust you that you have lots of idea on how to help Lila." Arnold put a hand on her shoulder and smiled at her, "I have faith in you." Helga opened her eyes widely and gazed back at Arnold.

Somehow, his smile assured her confidence and she began curved a smile to him back. "Thanks, Arnold." And after the long admirable gaze, her expression turned drastically and she scowled at him, "Now peddle your behind away so I could think up a scheme to help her out." Arnold just continued to smile at her, knowing she was just being herself.

**VII**

_Two weeks later at Helga's house, in her room…_

"Hmm…" Helga said thoughtfully, as she paced around in her room while looking at the ceiling above her, "This situation could be best considered as a win-lose situation. If I help Lila, I will gain Arnold's trust and a peace in heart that I have helped a fellow friend slash rival in need. _But_ on the other hand, if I do want to destroy her life – which I would love to, I will lose Arnold's trust and confidence. Not to mention I will be labeled by my so-called colleagues as a big fat jerk for all eternity. Hmm… decisions, decisions."

She had been thinking about this for a whole week already, analyzing every pros and cons, length and breadth, strength and weaknesses of her plan. She then stopped pacing and looked at her beloved Arnold shrine, "As of now, Lila is feeling indifferent about Arnold and from what I have gathered from Phoebe when she was talking with Gerald, in his words: 'It's over between me and Lila'. Should I be an insensitive lot and not help her out even though my not boyfriend no longer worships her? _Or_ I should be decent and help the poor girl?" she placed her hand on her chin, and began to contemplate it.

"I think the answer is obvious enough." Helga said to herself and exited from her room. "Bob?" she called for her father, "dad?"

"Jeez, no need to shout girl! I'm in the kitchen for crimeny's sake!" he shouted from the kitchen as he prepared a huge sub sandwich for himself.

"Dad!" Helga jumped from the stairs and ran into the kitchen, "I think I know how to solve your problem!"

"About what?" he asked back, deploying nachos with cheese inside the one foot long sub.

"I think I know someone who can replace the beeper seller guy who just quit from your store!"

"What? How do you know I'm looking for a guy to fill in my best seller's position?"

Helga looked at him skeptically, "Bob, you've been ranting about it to me and mom for weeks."

"Oh, oh… yeah." Bob replied back, and headed to the living room as Helga followed him from behind, "Look Olga—"

"Helga."

"Yeah, Helga. I've lots of people in line waiting for me to give them an interview. If he wants the job, he has to apply like everyone else. And who is this guy anyway?"

"He's a dad of a friend of mine. He just got laid off from his job." Helga replied, "C'mon dad, have a heart. Give him a job!"

"Laid off?" Bob asked back incredulously as he sat in his couch in front of the TV. "The only company in this city that I know that's laying off jobs is the one that supplies me with the beeper accessories! It's sad to hear them laying off people, Helga. Their promoters are always excellent— wait, are you saying that the dad of this friend of yours used to work there? Is he a promoter?"

"Umm…" Helga was stunned, not able to give any kind of answer. She did not know where Lila's father used to work at.

"Hmm…" Bob pondered, stroking his chin, "Having him on the company would boost the sales of my beepers tenfold!" he smiled broadly, and then turned to Helga. "Hey girl, can I have your friend's phone number? I need to talk with her dad."

**VIII**

_On the next day, Monday in school…_

"Mr. Simmons, I'd like to thank you ever so much for escorting me from the counseling's office. The counselor and you really helped me a lot throughout these past few weeks." Lila said to him as they walked side-by-side through the school hallway to the class.

"It's no problem at all, Lila. I'm just glad to help a student of mine cope with their personal ordeal."

"And I really would like to assure to you that I no longer need their services. I appreciate how they're teaching me how to cope with the problem I'm facing and all but I feel I can manage with it as of now." They arrived in front of their classroom door.

"I agree with you Lila, but I think right now, I you don't need to worry anymore!" he then opened the door for her, and to Lila's surprise, everyone in her class stood in front of the door and clapped their hands as soon as the door was opened. Lila was shocked but she did not understand why there was such a commotion in class as the situation didn't call for it.

"Oh my…" Lila said as she put her hand on her heart, slightly overwhelmed, "But today's not my birthday…"

"Lila," Stinky said as he stepped forward from his classmates, "All of us were informed of the quandary you're facing and we've decided to help ya out, on account that ya really needed the help."

Nadine then continued Stinky's explanation, "We set up a fund to collect money for you Lila, and as of right now, we managed to collect about 200 dollars for you and your dad. It's not much, but it should help you until your dad gets a job." Lila was touched and extremely overwhelmed by the support from her friends. Tears were running from her eyes right now.

"But…" Lila replied, sobbing with joy, "I can't accept all these kindness—"

"Ah," Helga scoffed, "Don't be so humble, just accept it. And speaking of jobs…" she stepped forth, smiling at her, "Your dad is attending a job interview right now with my dad, and I would say the outlook will be bright for the both of you. So… you don't need to be worried getting foster care or anything."

Lila was ecstatic, and she quickly ran to Helga and embraced her tightly, "Oh, thank you everyone! And thank you ever so much, Helga!" everyone clapped their hands, in happiness and also in shocked to hear that Helga actually gave a hand in helping her most bitter rival. They guessed Helga wasn't so heartless after all.

"Hey, hey!" Helga said back embarrassedly, trying to escape from Lila's clutches while still smiling, "I'm happy for you too, Lila. C'mon, let go off me. It's getting embarrassing." And with a reddened face, Lila released her grasp. And Lila started to hug everyone in class, much to the boys' delight. Helga looked at Arnold, and he looked back at her. Arnold was relieved that Helga fulfilled her promise that she would help Lila, and he was proud of her for staying truth to her words. Helga was delighted to see the smile radiating from Arnold. She knew that she had gained his confidence and heart – a bit. But suddenly the smile turned into an extremely angry scowl when she saw Lila hugging Arnold. But, she cooled back, and thought, "Well, just this once…" as she smiled at Lila, obviously euphoric that the dark shroud had finally been lifted away from her and her father.

* * *

One of my greatest disappointment in writing this story is that I couldn't tell more about Lila and her dad's suffering during his layoff stint, because the story has become too long. I wish I could, since it'll make the story more dramatic. Well, that's that. I'd like to thank you for reading and please leave a review.  



	4. Eps 6: Curly the Flier

_Author's Note: _Hello people! Here's another chapter for you guys. I will continue write stories like these, just to fill the comedy quota up in the Hey Arnold segment. Well, enjoy!

* * *

**Legal junk: I don't own Hey Arnold, but Nickelodeon does and Mr. Craig Bartlett created it. But this fic belongs to me. Clear? Good.**

Episode 6: Curly the Flier

**I**

Curly was in his room, pacing back and forth in front of his desk. His desk was a complete mess, with a dirty mug, crumpled papers, stationeries, and numerous opened books on aerodynamics practically filling every space on the desk. Above the desk on the wall, there was a series of crudely drawn schematics and blueprints of his plans. The reason for his pacing around was because he worried that the plans might not come to reality. He had the resources, the technology, and the tools, but sadly he couldn't find a place to launch his project, literally. The trial run in the Principal's office was a resounding success, he would say so himself - only now he wanted to do the real thing.

Suddenly there was a knock on a door, and his mom showed up. "Curly, are some of your friends are here to see you."

"Tell them I'm busy mother, I don't have time to entertain their request." He replied back.

His mom sighed back, shaking her head disappointingly, "Honestly Curly, you've been holing in your room for days already. Try to get out and play sometimes. And I _really_ hope you're not doing what I hope you're not doing: Your harebrained schemes are not going to work anymore." His mom then slowly closed the door, leaving Curly alone in his room. He then went over to the window and looked down below at the front door. From there, he could see Stinky, Arnold and Gerald sitting on the stoop, talking amongst each other.

"Arnold, I's still say that dis durn idea of yours is durn foolish." Stinky said to him. Curly couldn't hear their conversation, but he still kept an eye on them.

"C'mon Stinky." Arnold replied back, "Curly's our friend." Both Gerald and Stinky looked at him with an eyebrow raised, "Well, a weird friend, but still a friend nonetheless, and it's not right to single him out from playing baseball with us. Besides, we're short on players."

"Mmph, mmph, mmph!" Gerald hummed in disgust, "Arnold man, I'm sorry but I'm gonna hafta agree with Stinky. Curly's…" he then put his index finger on his chin, "how should I put it in a nice way… a _psychopath_! Remember them time when we play football for the fifth graders? Wasn't he be the one who took off with the ball in the last minute?"

"Yeah… but that was football." Arnold replied, "I don't think he'd do the same thing this time. Besides, he did us a favor by ending the game quick." Then, Curly mother showed up.

"I'm sorry boys." She replied, sighing, "He just wouldn't want to leave his room." Gerald and Stinky let a sigh of relief.

"It's okay Mrs. Gammelthorpe." Arnold replied back. "If he changed his mind, just tell him to head to Vine Street. We'll be playing baseball there."

"Okay. Thanks for inviting him anyway." Mrs. G replied. "You boys have fun now."

"Yeah, see ya later Mrs. G." Gerald said and replied. Arnold and Stinky did the same, and they left the house. After watching them walking away, Curly closed his window and went to the center of his room. He gazed at the schematics and blueprints, deep in thought. He then thought of Arnold, and his house. The boarding house flat, spacious rooftop was _perfect_ for his plan.

"_Yes… I can now set my plan into motion. I will announce to them all!"_

**II**

_Next day in the school cafeteria, lunch time…_

"So Lila, what do you think of my plan?" Curly asked her after telling her thoroughly about his plans. "Pretty cool, huh?"

"Uh… to be perfectly honest Curly," Lila replied nervously, "I'm ever so sure it's not safe…"

"Oh come on. It's foolproof!" Curly exclaimed, "Here, let me give you another rundown of my plan." And while Curly tried to explain again his plans to Lila, Rhonda and Nadine were looking at them on a different table faraway from the both of them.

"Ugh, finally!" Rhonda said in relief while holding a sandwich, "He has finally found someone else to pester on other than me. What a relief!"

"Am I detecting jealousy here, Rhonda?" Nadine smiled, "Because I think—"

"Girl, please! What makes you say that?" Rhonda said back, "There isn't any jealousy coming from me, Nadine. And for you to even suggest that notion is just absurd." At this point Curly got up from his seat leaving Lila rather perplexed at his plans that might hurt himself if he insisted on doing it. He then walked over to Rhonda and Nadine to tell them about his plan.

"Hey there, Angel Face." He greeted Rhonda, which made her gag, "Hi Nadine." He greeted her, which made her smile wryly.

"Ugh, what do you want you _troll_?" Rhonda said repulsively in disgust.

"Why, nothing Babycakes. I'm just here to tell you this ingenious plan I have." Curly replied, smiling broadly.

"Well, let us see it," Nadine replied, just to be nice despite she had no interest of wanting to know of his plan.

"Nadine…" Rhonda scoffed, and she buried her face into her folded arms on the table, "You just _had_ to encourage him, don't you?"

At the opposite end of the cafeteria, there be Arnold, Gerald, Sid, Stinky and Harold sitting together, discussing whatever's on their mind while eating their lunch. "You can't be serious, Gerald." Sid said in disbelief, "Just how many mag stash you found under your brother's bed again?" he asked.

"Hey you guys," Arnold suddenly interrupted them, "Why is Curly going on about to other people as if he's telling them something?"

"Hmm… Stinky pondered, replying, "I's ain't have the slightest clue."

"I kinda heard from Phoebe that he's trying to hurt himself with some dumb plan to make himself fly." Harold said to them.

"Fly?" Gerald said incredulously, "what, like in a simulator or something?"

"No, no. He's flying for real." Harold replied back.

Gerald lifted an eyebrow. "With what?"

"You know, that is an interesting question Gerald." Curly suddenly interjected as he slammed his hands on the table. "For I: Curly the Flier, shall give you the answer that you seek!" he then took a piece of paper out of his pocket and slammed it onto the table, and unfolded it. The guys who were far from Curly got up from their seats and peered closely at the piece of paper.

"I don't get it." Sid replied, shaking his head, "It kinda looks like a bird with tennis balls containers on its back."

"No you dolt!" Curly snapped back, "It's _me_ with fire extinguishers on my back!" And everybody at the table stared quizzically at him.

"Why? Why in the holiest of holy you want to do that?" Gerald asked him.

"Okay, here's my plan, see?" Curly began to tell his plans to his friends enthusiastically, "I'm planning to fly around the city by using these two fire extinguishers as a medium of propulsion, or as I want to put eloquently: jetpacks. I got my inspiration from watching a late night 50's sci-fi movie."

"Curly, I don't think—" Arnold tried to interject.

"No, no. Let me finish first. The trial run was performed successfully by me in the Principal's Office when Mr. Simmons briefly became our principal. From there, I launched myself approximately 10 feet into the air and landed safely on the school playground jungle gym. Sure, I had minor head trauma and a fractured leg, but the experiment was successful nonetheless. So now I'm putting myself in the record books by being the first kid to fly around this city by using two jetpacks behind my back. Alas, I couldn't find a perfect launching base, but then, I remember your house, Arnold."

Arnold widened his eyes both in terror and shock, "My… house?"

"Yeah, don't you see? Your rooftop is the perfect place for me to launch myself into the sky. It's flat, it's spacious, and I really don't see any other place more ideal than your house!"

"NO Curly!" Arnold stood up and opposed to the idea greatly. "You're going to hurt yourself and I won't allow you to do it!"

"Aww c'mon, Arnold!" Curly pleaded, "Don't be such a spoil sport! You won't get into any trouble even if I hurt myself, which I doubt considering all the plans that I've made."

"No Curly." Arnold retorted back, "And I'm not going to debate this any further. You won't get the opportunity to use my house as a launching site for your crazy idea."

"But—"

"NO." And Arnold gave him the final answer, thus making any pleas from Curly to null. Curly was devastated and anger at his decision, and he began to narrow his eyes and look at Arnold in extreme detestation.

Oh, I get it." he said, "You hate me, don't you Arnold?"

"What?" Arnold replied in shock, "Where'd you get that crazy idea? I'm just worried that you might hurt yourself, Curly."

"No, that's not it. You've been helping almost everyone in class, but you never, ever, helped me. I think you despise me Arnold, and you do this just to spite me off." Arnold was getting more and more confused, "But regardless of your view towards me, I will use your rooftop with or without your consent. Good day to you all." He then left the table, leaving the boys totally confused.

"Dang, that fella needs help." Stinky shook his head.

**III**

"So Arnold." Gerald said as he put four spades card in front him, "Tell me again why we are playing poker on your rooftop?"

"Because…" Arnold replied, as he contemplated on which card he wanted to put, "I don't want Curly to trespass my house and go on with his crazy plan."

"Oh, so that's why you barricaded your fire escape." Sid said, waiting for Arnold to make his move. Arnold had barricaded his fire escape with junk he found at the attic.

"But one thing that I's can't understand Arnold," Stinky said, "Wut's gonna happen if there's a fire in ya house?"

Arnold then suddenly widened his eyebrows, in stunned of Stinky's question. He didn't think of that before he barricaded the fire escape. "Well, I'll just have to improvise then."

"Hmm…" Harold said, "At least it's breezy out here." It was agreed with from all of his friends. The boys, after a suggestion from Arnold, were playing a round of poker on the rooftop. They were sitting in a circle on the carpet covered floor, which Arnold was nice enough to consider placing it before letting his friends sit. Suddenly grandpa came out from door with milk and cookies in his hands.

"Hey there boys." He greeted, "Enjoying a rousing game of poker aren't ya?"

"Thanks for the snacks, grandpa." Arnold thanked him, as he passed the milk glasses down to his friends.

"I must say that this idea of yours is pretty darn good, Arnold. The fresh breeze, the open air…" Grandpa then took a deep breath and exhaled it loudly with a tone of satisfaction to it. "Hwah! It really does make you feel alive, doncha?"

"It sure is grandpa." Arnold smiled, replying back. "But all of these are only temporary grandpa. Until Curly has come to his senses, I'll have to stay up here so he couldn't hurt himself." Suddenly, a grappling hook was fired to the air and caught the ledge. With a sigh, Arnold got up said to them, "Let me handle this… and no peeking." And as Arnold walked unwillingly to release the grappling hook, the guys quickly went over to his cards and look at it. He should've brought them with him.

"Aww, c'mon Arnold!" Curly shouted from below, "Just this once!"

"No, Curly!" Arnold replied back, "Why don't you forget this whole thing and play poker with us?" he asked.

"No Arnold! I will not give up! I will fly from your house!" Arnold let out a snarling sigh and shook his head. He then went back to resume playing poker. "Hey, were you guys looking at my cards?"

**IV**

During the night, particularly this very late night, Arnold was sound asleep until he heard a loud crash coming from outside the house at the barricaded fire escape. Arnold quickly got up and ran to the window to the fire escape. Upon seeing who was making that commotion, he let out a heavy sigh and said to the trespasser, "Curly, go back home get some sleep. We have school tomorrow."

Curly was wearing black clothes, beanie and painted his face in dark colors at that time, for stealth reasons. He however overlooked the importance of being quiet. He stared blankly at Arnold, as he slowly put away his crowbar behind his back. "No…" he replied somewhat nervously, "I'm not trying to break into your roof. Nuh-uh. Nosiree. And I'm not trying to fly from your house either. I'm just here to enjoy a midnight stroll to clear my head for a while." He then gave him a smile.

Arnold could only roll his eyes. "Look Curly, it's getting late, and you're not making any progress in this plan, so you might as well go home get some shuteye. Goodnight Curly." he then shut the door.

But Curly still persisted, and said ,"But—"

"And I'm not going to help you with the barricade, either!" Arnold shouted back, as he collapsed on his bed and put his pillow on his face.

**V**

_The next day…_

"C'mon, Arnold!"

"No!" Arnold replied, trying to keep himself calm, even though he was extremely annoyed with Curly constantly pestering him to let him use his roof. Curly was following him all day today and even now Curly was right behind him, as Arnold quickened his pace to his home.

"Just this once!"

"No! I won't let you!" Arnold replied back, beginning to lose his temper.

"I'll give you ten bucks if you just let me!" And the both of them finally reached the boarding house.

Just before he entered his house, Arnold turned around and looked at Curly deep in the eyes, "Curly, I don't know how long you're preparing to keep up asking me like this, but I'd like to tell you that despite all of your pleads and begs and the times you grovel at my feet, the answer is still no, and forever be no. Don't you see Curly? Fire extinguishers are not designed to fly people around. They're for… you know, _extinguish_ fires! Just think about it Curly, the idea of yours is just madness. You could seriously hurt yourself. Please, if you could stop pestering me, everybody wins here. Good day." And with that, without much of a protest from Curly or a raised voice from Arnold, he then entered his house and closed the door leaving the Curly standing alone on the stoop.

"Oh no, my friend." Curly said to himself, "I'm not giving up on my dreams…"

Arnold then walked to the kitchen and saw his grandfather rummaging the fridge, "Hey there Shortman. How's school today? Got into a fight with that one eyebrow girl again?"

"No. Thankfully, not today grandpa." Arnold sighed as he climbed on the seat. "But, I have a problem with one of my friends."

"Hmm…" grandpa said as he turned around with a bunch of food items in his hands and kicked the refrigerator door to close it. "Problem with Gerald again?"

"No grandpa." He replied as he grabbed a glass in front of him, "My other friend. He has this crazy idea of trying to use our roof like some sort of a launch pad or something so he can fly around the city with pair of fire extinguishers!"

"Whoh!" Grandpa bellowed out loud as he put all the food stuff on the table, "Ho ho ho ho!" he began to laugh. "Now that's one grand, vivid imagination if I might say so myself! You kids and your imagination never ceased to amaze me!"

"What should I do grandpa?" Arnold asked as he took a carton of orange juice out from the pile of food grandpa just put on the table, "He couldn't stop bothering me, and it's getting up to my nerves! I tried telling him not to do it, and he just wouldn't listen to me."

"Well Shortman…" Grandpa said, "I wish I could offer you an advice for this particular predicament, but I gotta admit, I'm intrigued to watch that fella do it himself…"

"What?" Arnold shouted in shock as he jumped out from his seat. "C'mon grandpa, you can't be serious?"

"Boy, let me tell you a story about a friend of mine called Leroy Jenkins. This is wayyyyyyyy back when I was a kid." So Arnold sat down and listened to Grandpa heavy-heartedly. "So this Leroy Jenkins fella claimed that he was the bravest of all the kids in the neighborhood. He said that he ventured into a cursed cave and actually went trekking in the jungle over yonder at the hills. But despite of what he said about his accomplishments, he never actually showed us any kind of proof at all. So one day, me and some my pals called him up and dared him to swim across the lake where Big Caesar resides. Now no one had done it before since they're afraid they might get eaten by Big Caesar itself."

"So what did Leroy say?" Arnold replied, eager to know.

"We weren't surprised that he accepted our challenge, so then off we go to the lake. Boy, did he look confident when we arrived there! So then he took off his shirt and he then took the first step into the lake. He stood at the edge, gazing deeply into the lake. It was some kind of a Nietzsche moment for us. Then, he turned around and looked at us. He drop to his knees and confessed to us that all of his stories of bravery were all hoaxes and lies. Then we laughed at him, and proceeded to beat the snot out him." Grandpa smiled and chuckled at the fond memories. "Ahh… youth."

"So what you're saying that I should let Curly do it, and see if he chickened out at the last minute? But grandpa, I think he's too determined to ch—"

"No, heavens no Shortman!" Grandpa protested. "I said that you should beat the poo out of him till his senses come back!"

"Grandpa…" Arnold narrowed his eyes, looking at grandpa disapprovingly, "You know I'm not going to do that…"

"Yeah, I know…" he replied back, sighing, "but it'd be fun to see you do that though."

**VI**

_A few days later…_

"How much for these cutlets, Mr. Green?" Arnold asked him. He was running an errand for his grandmother.

"Well, let's see here…" Mr. Green said as he put the cutlets on the scale. Suddenly there was loud knocking sound on the window. "Oh, for Pete's sake! Didn't I tell you not to knock the window, Sid?" Mr. Green yelled at him, who was outside asking for Arnold to come out.

"Hold those for a while Mr. Green." Arnold said as he ran outside. "Sid, what is it?"

"It's Curly man!" Sid said, as he pointed to Arnold's house. "He's on your roof, ready to fly! All the kids are at your backyard to watch him do it!"

"WHAT?" Arnold shouted in shock. And he and Sid quickly ran to the house. Upon entering, he saw Oskar putting a ten dollar bill into his wallet. "Mr. Kokoshka, I told you not to let Curly inside of the house!"

"But he gave me ten bucks Arnold!" he replied back, smiling innocently, "Ehehehheheh!"

Not wasting any more time Arnold quickly ran to roof's door while Sid walked over to the backyard, where most his friends were already there to see Curly's daredevil stunt in action.

"Five bucks said that Curly ain't gonna make it." Stinky wagered with Joey, as he nodded in agreement.

"Oh, this is _so _going to be awesome in my collection! I hope his cranium splits into two!" Rhonda exclaimed while holding her readily available camera.

"Man, I didn't know you're this sadistic, Rhonda." Helga said disapprovingly. Then there was a slight pause. "Make copies for me, okay?" Helga asked, and both of the girls smiled. It seemed that they had finally found something in common.

"I have my doubts, but if he really managed to pull it, it'd be the greatest legend ever." Gerald exclaimed.

"Like you, Gerald," Phoebe said, "I have my doubts myself. Taking his body and payload weight, the average velocity of his takeoff speed and the height of the building I'm afraid to say that I don't think he's going to survive at all…"

Arnold tried to use his body weight against the locked door to the roof, but to no avail. And due to the futility of his actions, he then tried to reason with him. "Curly! Please don't do it! You and I both know that you can't fly with those things!"

But Curly ignored him. He was determined. And the loud cheering from the backyard made him even more enthusiastic about his plans. He smiled a broad smile and walked up to the ledge to see the people down below. He raised both of his arms, and the crowd cheered wildly. He was happy to see people were supportive about his plans, unlike _someone_ behind the door… And actually, the crowd wasn't cheering to support him, but rather want to see him hurt himself. Curly then picked up the two fire extinguishers that he had fashioned them into a jetpack, and put on his back. After making last minute checkups, he went to the ledge one last time to assess and calculate his trajectory. Between the ever enthusiastic crowd, Arnold's plea not to ask him to do it, the heavy weight of the extinguishers and the test run he performed in the principal's office, a sudden blast in his conscious alerted his instincts, and he began to have doubts.

The doubt intensifies as he began to sweat and tremble, and his vision became all wonky. The height from the top of the boarding house to the street level below made him nauseous. He felt dizzy. He then slow crept to the middle of the roof and sat there, in hoping that all these minor setbacks will go away. Suddenly there was a clicking sound at the door, and Arnold bolted out. It seemed that he used a key to open the door.

"CURLY DON'T DO THIS! THINK ABOUT YOUR PARENTS!" he shouted while running to him.

Calmly, Curly replied, "Yeah Arnold. You're right… I'm not going to make it…"

Arnold stopped at his tracks and stood while gazing disbelievingly at him. "What?"

"I miss calculated the weight of these fire extinguishers. It turns out to be heavier than I expected."

"So…"

"I'm not going to do it. Maybe some other time." He smiled Arnold, and he returned the smile back.

"I'm glad you came to your senses." Arnold said as he tried to get Curly up to his feet again. "Wow, you're actually using those rollerblades to help you to go faster?"

"Yeah. Like I said, I've thought of my plan thoroughly." Curly then put his hand on Arnold's shoulder and walked with him to the door. But due to his clumsiness, Curly accidentally let the extinguishers pack behind him hit a vent and its safety pin got lodged through the lever and promptly let the chemicals jet out of the hose, therefore jettisoning Curly to the ledge where he intended to take off earlier.

"CURLY!" Arnold shouted in fright.

"AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Curly also shouted in fear as he went ever closer to the ledge.

"Hey look everyone!" Eugene pointed to the roof. "Curly's about to fly!"

"NNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" And Curly fell down…

**VII**

_A couple of days later…_

"Good thing those bushes broke your fall, right Curly?" Harold said as he patted Curly's cast arm. "So uh… you're going to eat that?" he pointed to a bunch of hospital food in front of the bed. Curly couldn't nod, shook his head, speak or do anything as most of his body was in a cast, with the exception on the area around his nose and ears. The cast on his mouth had a little hole in it so Curly could be fed through the tube. So after a long pause, Harold said again, "So the long silence means no… right?"

"_NO HAROLD! THAT FOOD IS FOR ME! YOU CAN'T HAVE IT! IF YOU LAY A SINGLE FINGER ON THEM I SWEAR I WILL BEAT THE STUFFING OUT OF YOU!" _Curly screamed in his mind, but unfortunately he couldn't speak his mind.

Misinterpreting Curly's silence, Harold assumed that Curly wasn't going to eat it, and joyfully shouted, "ALL RIGHT!" and ran to the food tray and immediately eat everything on it vigorously. Arnold, Gerald, Sid, Stinky, Nadine, Helga, Phoebe and Rhonda (surprisingly) could only shook their heads as they watched Harold gluttonously eat Curly's food.

Rhonda then resumed taking pictures of Curly in his bedridden state as she exclaimed, "Well, at least his temporarily paralyzed body can compensate the non-occurring split cranium! Man, this is _so_ will go down in my life as my fondest memories!"

Arnold shook his head as he watched Rhonda showing no single amount of empathy at all to Curly. He then looked at Curly and put his hand on Curly's shoulder, "Hang in there, man. I hope you'll recover soon."

* * *

So remember kids: don't go jump off a building or anything. Thanks for reading, and please leave a review! I need a new catchphrase...  



	5. Eps 7: SoccerFootball Frenzy

_Author's Note: _Asians, Latin Americans and Europeans readers will get a kick (LOL!) out of this! I supposed to upload this piece last, last week - which was one week before the FIFA World Cup starts, but I couldn't since mah ISP wuz teh sukt, plus I had to leave the country for one week. I've always wanted to put soccer into one of my HA! fics someday, but I found it hard to incorporate it since America isn't a soccer playing nation... until I remembered Rex and his motley English chaps and the America-Britain rivalry. Well, here's a toast to the beautiful game, and the start of World Cup 2006 (though I am a wee late). I hope Americans will enjoy this as well... if they can get the joke. :) And I hope I got the English cussing right.

* * *

**Legal junk: I don't own Hey Arnold, but Nickelodeon does and Mr. Craig Bartlett created it. But this fic belongs to me. Clear? Good.**

Episode 7: Football/soccer frenzy

**I**

It was an average afternoon in the park where Arnold and his gang were currently waiting for Gerald to show up with the ball. The sky was blue, birds were chirping, old people babbling about the good old days as they walked, parents spending time with their babies, and the wind was blowing softly. As they waited, they laid back on the warm, soft grass looking towards the sky, watching the clouds.

"I's say that cloud over yonder looks just like a mouse." Stinky said to his friends while pointing at the particular cloud.

"You sure?" asked Sid, "Because I think it's a hamster."

"Crimeny, I can't believe this…" Helga said in disbelief of Sid and Stinky's ineptitude, "It's obviously are those crappy looking shoes that Rhonda wears everyday."

"Hey…" Rhonda shot back, "for your information Helga, these Caprini shoes are made for comfort, style and is compatible with all kinds of weather and terrains!"

"Whatever." Helga scoffed in a bored tone, "it still looks stupid to me."

"Hey guys," Lorenzo said to all of them, "I've rescheduled my timetable today just to play with guys, but I don't see we're doing anything here. I don't want to waste my time lazing around and do nothing. Where's Gerald anyway?" he asked to them, getting tired of waiting.

"Just relax Lorenzo. Gerald always keep to his words, he'll come back here with the ball." Arnold replied back optimistically, knowing that his best friend wouldn't bail on them.

"I'm hungry…" Harold complained whiningly. "Do you guys have any Mr. Fudgies or something?"

"Always thinking about that bloated piece of fat, aren't you Pinkboy?" Helga teased him, smiling.

Harold couldn't find a better comeback to retaliate her insult back, and so he just said to her, "You… you're bad person Helga! You just don't understand me! Ahh! Look at what you've done Helga! Now I'm being sorry for myself!" he cried out, which made Helga smirk. Just next to the lying crowd, Phoebe, Sheena, Lila, and Nadine were playing jump rope, chanting a rhyme to accompany the play.

Curly was in the bushes as he looked at the jump roping girls while waiting for the rhyme to finish, smirking devilishly. He had this idea of foiling the next skipper's jump by scaring the daylights out of her. Phoebe was next after Nadine. The rhyme was about to finish and he thought this would be the perfect time to jump on them. And so he did, but he had his shirt got caught on the branches and fell face down to the ground, startling the girls and the gang. There was a momentary pause, and a hysterical laughter followed suit as Curly looked at them in complete embarrassment.

"Serves you right, Curly!" Rhonda pointed at him and laughed.

"Haw, haw!" Stinky laughed at him, "that really bites!"

"Your attempt of scaring people: Lame out of ten!" Sid pointed at him as he laughed.

"Hey guys," someone suddenly interjected, "did I miss anything funny?" Gerald asked all of them, as he spun a ball on his finger.

"Uh Gerald…" Sid spoke quizzically, "I don't think that's a football…"

"Of course it's not. It's a soccer ball. I've been playing it for some time and thought we should give it a shot sometimes."

"Heck no Gerald!" Harold opposed angrily, "I'm not going to play a lame wussy sport like soccer!"

"Actually Harold, soccer, if played in the professional level is sometimes quite aggressive due to all the tackling maneuvers made and injuries suffered while playing the game. Soccer, or football it's being called outside the United States is the most popular sport of all time and is enjoyed by all age groups and both genders alike." Phoebe enlightened Harold, as others paid attention to her explanation.

"Yeah." Gerald nodded at Phoebe, "You amaze me a lot Phoebe. I didn't know you like soccer." He said warmly to her, smiling.

She giggled back, "I guess I have too much time on my hands reading this kind of trivia…"

Gerald smiled back at her, and then he looked towards the gang, "So, how about it? C'mon, let's give it a change for awhile you guys."

"Yeah, why not?" Arnold said to all of them, "Let's give it a shot. Who knows, we might enjoy it."

"But most of us ain't know the first thing about soccer." Stinky replied back, which was followed by nods of agreements from the others.

"Well, we have Helga here to teach us about it since she went to soccer practice and all." Arnold answered as he pointed to Helga. She widened her eyes in shocked that Arnold actually knew that she went to soccer practice. She began to sigh blissfully and a lovely smile formed across her face, dreaming of her beloved football headed boy. But just then she snapped back by slapping her face and an angry scowl developed soon after that.

"All right you losers!" she said angrily, "since most of you are ignorant about this sport, and tall-hair boy couldn't even tell the difference between a football and a soccer ball," she snidely mocked Gerald, which made him glare at her in annoyance, "_and_ not to mention that my mood is somewhat fine today, I'm gonna teach you morons the basics of this game. So huddle up and listen!" And Helga proceeded to teach them the fundamentals of soccer to all of them as they listened to her attentively. Her explanation was clear and understandable, and by the end of the explanation, most of them understood the basic rule of the sport.

"So, basically the ball can touch any part of your body except for your arms and hands?" Arnold asked again to make sure.

"Are you deaf, Football Head? Yes, no arms and hands are allowed throughout the play, _except_ for the goalkeeper and during throw-ins." She told her in an aggravated tone.

"Uh… okay." Arnold replied nonchalantly.

"Pay attention next time, Arnoldo." She then turned to Gerald and yelled to him, "Hey, Tall Hair Boy! Throw me the ball, will you?"

Gerald could only rolled his eyes in annoyance and proceeded to throw the ball to her rather harshly, but Helga managed to catch it back perfectly, "Don't forget Gerald, I'm in soccer practice." She said to him in a snide tone. Gerald glared back, but then ignored her because he knew that fighting will go nowhere. Sighing as he shook his head, he went to his position.

There were thirteen of them, and they were split into two teams, with exception for Phoebe since she rather watched her friends play rather than playing with them. Gerald, Rhonda, Sid, Lila and Lorenzo were in Arnold's team while Harold, Stinky, Nadine, Curly and Sheena were in Helga's team. Lorenzo and Harold were selected to be the goalkeepers. Arnold, Gerald, Stinky and Helga were in the center field, with Helga's team being the first one to kickoff first. Helga glared at Arnold resentfully. Arnold smirked back. The whole field went silent. And then Helga kicked the ball to Stinky. So began the first half of the match. There was nothing exciting happened on the first five minutes, as nobody on both teams tried to score a goal yet. At the far side of the field, Rex-Smyte Higgins III were walking casually in the park, minding his own business while eating ice-cream when all of a sudden the ball rolled to his feet, and he stopped at his tracks.

**II**

"Hey Rex!" Gerald shouted to him. "Throw us the ball, will ya?"

Rex smiled and chuckled softly, being amused by them, "Heh, _you_, of all people are playing _football_?" he began to laugh snobbishly.

"_Nooo,_ Rex. We're playing _soccer, _not _football_. So throw us the ball, man." Sid said back.

"Oh, hohoho!" he laughed snobbishly again, slapping his knee. "You silly Yanks never ceased to amuse me! Do you want to know why I called it football in the first place? It's because we play it with our _foot_ instead of our _hands_!" he mocked them since Americans played _foot_ball with their hands.

Helga was angry with the remark, and immediately she retort back, "How about if I land my foot up your—"

"Enough, Helga!" Arnold quickly cut her off, "Look, Rex. Just give us the ball, will you? We don't want to start a fight."

"Sure, whatever you say, _Rugby_-head." He smirked, and picked the ball with his foot, juggle it many times using his head, chest and both of his feet and finally he kicked the ball to the group of American kids as they looked at him in amazed disbelief of Rex's footballing skills. The ball was caught by Helga, who wasn't impressed at all by his skills. Rex smiled and said to her, "Nice catch, girl. But then again, it's not good enough. Well, I must depart now before I die laughing from watching you Yanks playing football. Ta-ra!" he waved at them, and walked away. "I bet you couldn't even hit the side of Admiral Nelson's Column even if it were just two meters in front of you!"

Arnold felt challenged, irked and insulted by his remark, and thought something must be done to teach him a lesson. "Hey Rex, wait a second." He called him.

"Yes, my hideously misshaped headed friend?"

"How about if you prove us wrong, by playing with us right here, right now?" he challenged him, which surprisingly was agreed by Helga.

"Yeah, you boasting Limey jerk, come on! Don't just talk the talk!" she ridiculed him angrily. "Come up here and prove to us your worth! And bring your team with you!"

"Interesting proposal, mates." He replied excitedly, rubbing his chin as he pondered about the proposal, "Very well then, I accept your challenge. We'll meet again here in the next 30 minutes, savvy?" his bait worked. He wanted to play against them but he didn't want to be the one who proposed the match.

Helga and Arnold glared at him and said, "It's a deal." in unison. They then gazed at each other in surprised gaze that they said it together. Rex smirked and replied back, "Jolly good then. Cheers mate." And he left them, laughing maliciously.

"Now what have you two got us into!" Rhonda yelled angrily at Arnold and Helga.

"Yeah, man!" Sid said to concur with Rhonda, "Didn't you see how well Rex played with that ball? There's no way we're ever going to defeat them! We're goners for sure!"

"Relax guys, I've got a plan. Besides, we have Helga here to guide us." He replied to them. Helga sighed softly at Arnold's reply since he actually had faith in her.

"Still, we can't depend on Helga alone. Face it, Arnold. We don't know squat about soccer. How are we supposed to win against them English guys?" Gerald snapped back.

Suddenly, Lorenzo walked in a rather gallant walk kind of way and said to Helga, "Helga, pass me the ball." He said boldly.

Helga shrugged and passed him the ball. And like Rex, he too did a series of ball juggling and even better perhaps. Lorenzo could balance the ball perfectly with his forehead and the back of his neck, juggling the ball using his heel, head, chest and two of his feet. In short, his footballing skills are just like Rex's, but better. "You're not the only one who goes to soccer practice, Helga."

Helga chuckled and smirked, and said "Well, at least I'm not the only one here who knows how to play this game."

"It's for the love of the game, man." Lorenzo said back, smiling. They then both shook hands and said to their peers, "We'll be the strikers (_Principally responsible for scoring goals_)."

"Okay… how about the rest of us?" Arnold asked them.

"Hmm… Arnold, Gerald, Nadine and Sid will be the midfielders (_Responsible to assist both the striker and defender_)." Lorenzo suggested, and Helga nodded in agreement.

"Nice lineup." She complimented, and it was her turn to make a suggestion, "Harold, Sheena, Phoebe—"

"I'm sorry Helga, I think I better sit this one out." She said to her, politely declining her position.

"What? C'mon Pheebs, don't be such a wuss." Helga tried to persuade her.

"I'd be the best for me if I become the observer of the match, I assure you." Still, she persisted. Helga sighed in defeat and said to her, "All right, _fine_. Go ahead. Lesse… who do we have left…" she said thoughtfully as she tapped her chin with her index finger. Finally, she said, "All right, Harold, Sheena, Rhonda and Curly, you guys will be the defender (_duh_)."

"I object, Helga!" Rhonda opposed angrily, swiping her hand across her body, "there's no way I'm ever going to be with this… this freak!" she said, pointing to Curly.

"Oh come on, my dearest!" Curly replied back lovingly, "I know you _always_ want to be beside me!" he said as proceeded to go closer to Rhonda and got his face closer to her in an attempt for a kiss.

"In. Your. Dreams, you little freak." She said angrily to him through her clenched teeth as she shoved him away. "If he's in, then I'm out!" she then stomped her way to the bench where Phoebe was sitting.

Helga groaned in frustration as she slapped her forehead in annoyance of Rhonda, "_Fine_, Sid, you change place with Rhonda and vice-versa! Curly, you stay! If you won't I swear I will smack you silly with old Betsy here!" she said irately as she showed him her fist. Curly gulped, and agreed to his position.

"Hey, whatabout me?" Stinky asked them.

"You're thinking what I'm thinking Lorenzo?" Helga said to him, smirking.

"I certainly do, Helga." Lorenzo replied back, "For a tall guy like you, I think it'd be the best if you be the goalkeeper."

"Hot diggidy dawg!" Stinky cheered, "Means I won't have to do all them running after the ball."

"But what about me?" Lila asked.

"I've got a special place for you," Helga said with a snide voice, "you'll be the substitute, if any one of us got injured, you'll be the one who'll replace us."

"Well… that's ever so good… I guess…"

**III**

The 30 minutes dateline had passed, and that ugly English mug still hadn't shown up to the field with his motley team. Helga felt that Rex chickened out from the match. He was all talk anyway, she thought. Arnold, on the other hand felt that Rex was just delaying to make them nervous so that they couldn't concentrate on the game very well. Gerald was passing the ball back and forth with Lorenzo, doing their part to warm up. Lorenzo was ready to face the opponent, for he will emulate his favorite soccer player, Jorge Campos, when playing against the English kids. The other kids were sitting on the grass, getting bored and tired of waiting for Rex's team.

"They're not coming." Sid said to all of them as he watched the horizon.

"Yeah…" Nadine said, "Let's just play without them, you guys."

But suddenly, "Who says that we're not coming? We're late because I was too busy finding great chaps to play with me! Lo and behold, ladies and gentlemen: My team!" Rex said cried out energetically, as he showed them his team with his hand. His team was consisted mostly the kids from the Pig War reenactment, and Arnold's team knew each and everyone of them well. And it looks like this match was destined to be the continuation from the Pig War reenactment. It seemed like fate was not without a sense of irony.

Rex then introduced his ragtag team to Arnold's gang as he pointed to each individual and said their name, "This is Scott, Ashley, Steven, Sol, David, Paul, Michael, Wayne, Jamie and finally, Peter. Myself included, there's eleven of us, and should be suffice for the course duration of the match."

"But… don't you have any substitutes at all? What happens if one of you got injured?" Arnold asked him.

"We won't." Rex replied arrogantly, "Because we already know that we can beat you." And his team laughed pompously with him.

"You said it, gov'nur! These bloody Yankees won't stand a chance against us!" One of them replied back.

"These blokes are asking for it!" yet another kid said.

"Now, now, chaps. We do not want to underestimate these good lads. For all we know, they could be a force to be reckoned with." One of them said to the team. He was then greeted by a wall of silence, but he began to snicker, and it grew louder, and finally he burst into a boisterous laugh, and the other team members laughed with him too.

"Oh, let's just stop with the hearty mock and sarcasm, mates." Rex said, trying to stop himself from laughing some more, "Let's carry on with business." He said as he grasped both of his arms together, rubbing in glee. His team members nodded and went over to the field to take their positions. Rex then went over to centerfield and face-to-face with Arnold. They exchanged glares with each other. Rex then rummaged through his pocket for a coin.

"You'll regret for ever challenging us, Yankees." He said with a smirk.

"I'll make you eat your own words, you Limeys." Arnold replied back, also smirking.

"I call heads." Rex said.

"Tails." Arnold replied back, and Rex flipped the coin. The coin dropped to the grass, and revealed the wager.

"Tails it is." Arnold smiled, raising his eyebrow to him.

Rex scoffed, and replied back, "Very well then. Consider this as an act of charity from us."

Arnold ran back to his position, as Lorenzo and Helga ran to the middle of the field. As they pass each other, Arnold gave some words of encouragement to them. Lorenzo thanked Arnold for those words and Helga threw some sarcastic remarks at him, but in a good-natured kind of way. The ball was positioned in the middle of the field by Phoebe. She took some steps backwards, paused to see whether both team were ready, and finally she shouted, "Begin!"

"Righty-ho, gentlemen! Let's defeat these revolting Yankees!"

"All right, fellow American dudes! Let's kick some Limey butt! Aaauuuww!"

Lorenzo immediately kicked the ball to Helga as she ran forward to the opponent's side of the field. Helga received the pass and pressed forward as Lorenzo and the midfielders followed her into the opponent's field. Ashley and Steven went over to Helga, trying to steal the ball away from her. Ashley made a sliding tackle, but Helga was quick to her feet, and evaded the tackle, with the ball still in her possession. But she couldn't make it pass Steven, and he managed to steal the ball away from her. Helga groaned in frustration and ran back after him, as he chuckled in satisfaction of triumph. He then pushed forward, evading the tackles and obstacles from Arnold's team. Pride blinded him from his concentration, and Nadine managed to take the ball from him. She then passed the ball to Curly, Curly to Gerald, Gerald to Sid, and Sid to Lorenzo again.

Lorenzo passed to the ball to Helga, Helga to Lorenzo back, Lorenzo to Gerald, Gerald to Helga and she shoot the ball_…_ but was caught by the goalkeeper, Scott. Scott motioned his hands to ask his teammates to go long, and after he was satisfied with the position, he kicked the ball as hard as possible to the farthest teammate from him, Ashley. Ashley gave the ball a header to pass to her teammate on her opposite side. David received the pass, and proceeded to the goal. He ran as fast as he could, getting ready to shoot but, it was a trick! He actually passed the ball to Sol behind him, and quickly he shoot the ball but it hit the goalpost. The ball bounced back to Sheena and she immediately kicked it away but was intercepted by Ashley again. She shot the ball, and finally the English kids scored a goal!

They were elated with joy when she scored the goal so much that her teammates ran up to her and gave her a hearty compliment. The American kids weren't satisfied by it, as they watched the joyful scene. Helga was totally angry with the result that she yelled at everyone for being so inept at this.

"WHAT WAS THAT?" she shouted angrily at her teammates. "Didn't I tell you guys to be on alert? HUH?"

"C'mon Helga." Lorenzo tried to calm her up, "We still have time. Besides, these guys are new at this. Give them a chance."

Helga scoffed back, and went back to her position on the field. The others followed suit. "One more mishap like that and you guys are _so_ going to regret it!" she shouted loudly at them. The American team's morale didn't go down from the scolding though, as they were still determined to win this game. The ball once again was placed by Phoebe, and a new round started.

**IV**

As the kids play ball, two old men were walking down the footpath near the field, talking and ranting about almost everything. "If it wasn't for us Rex, Britain would be in Germany's grasp by now!"

"Oh, hogwash Phil!" Rex-Symthe Higgins Senior replied back. "We'd survive on our own even without the American's help! It seems to me that your history is a wee bit fuzzy. Don't you recall the Battle of Britain? Why, we defeated the Germans despite the overwhelming odds." He then looked to the left, "I say now, it seems that our grandchildren are playing a round of footie."

"Footie?" Grandpa Phil replied, scratching his head, "What kind of sick, twisted person are ya, Rex?"

"Ya bloody fool! Football, man! Football!" Rex snapped back.

"What are ya talking about Rex? They're playing soccer for cryin' out loud!" Grandpa Phil retorted back.

Rex Senior sighed in annoyance, and replied, "Blimey, it _is_ football, Phil! It's ya bloody Americans went all willy-nilly changing its name to soccer!"

"Why you… don'tcha be saying that, you Limey!" Grandpa Phil replied back, while pointing at Rex senior threateningly. They then started to bicker relentlessly about which name was right as they made their way to the field. And as they came ever close to the field, Gerald made the home team proud by scoring a goal. The match was now at a tie with 1-1. "Haha!" Grandpa Phil laughed happily, "Score one for the boys back home!" he then looked at his English rival and pointed to his face saying, "In your face, Rex!"

Rex senior narrowed his eyes and looked at Phil back irritably, "Ohh, it's not over yet. I assure you my lads—" he looked around and saw a couple of girls on the team, "and the girls will win against your pitiful band of chavs."

"Now you're not making sense." Grandpa Phil replied, "The heck are 'chavs'? Don't you export your silly British words at me!"

"Oh, pish-posh, let's just be quiet and watch the match, shall we?" Rex senior said back, as the both of them sat on a bench conveniently placed on the side of the field. He noticed Phoebe on the sideline, "You there, young lass," Rex Senior called her, "What is the current score?"

"It's a tie one to one, sir." Phoebe replied back.

"Hah!" Rex Senior said happily, "Looks like my lads scored the first goal! Haha!" he then stood up and yelled to the English kids, "I say there, all of you!"

"Grandfather?" Rex-Symthe Higgins III said in surprise, "What are you doing here?"

"To give support, of course." Rex Senior replied back, "Now hear this, these bloody Yankees rotters do not know the first thing about football, so don't give them a chance at all to win this game, you hear that correctly?"

"Yes grandfather." Rex III replied, "We will, these sods are a pushover, anyways." He said arrogantly.

Grandpa Phil was pretty steamed upon hearing the conversation between Rex and his grandfather that he stood up and yelled to the American Team, "Listen you guys, even though the most of you don't know jack squat about this game, but by gum, win it for the homeland!"

All the American kids stopped at their movements, and they looked at Grandpa Phil incredulously. "Man, what is your Grandpa babbling about?"

"I don't know…" Arnold shook his head as he stopped his ball at his feet, "He must've forgotten to take his raspberries juice again." He then looked down at his feet, and realized the ball was gone, "Hey, where's the ball?"

With all the American kids got distracted by Grandpa, one of the English kids successfully stole the ball back from Arnold and they immediately launched an attack on the American's goal. Stinky was very nervous since nobody, not even the defenders were there to help him out. "Uh… fellas…" he said with a scared tone. With no one in sight, The English kids ran at full force, as if a locomotive going at full speed to a stalled car in the middle of the tracks. Realizing it was the situation was hopeless, with him sweating all over, Stinky made the decision to run away from his post. "AARRRRGGHHHH!"

Wayne smiled at himself, and tried to shoot at the goal from afar. It scored a perfect goal in the center! "GOOOAALLL!" the English kids yelled jubilantly as they ran around the field like maniacs. Wayne took off his number eight shirt and spun it around in the air as he ran across the field in joy.

"That's two strikes to one, Phil." Rex Senior said to Grandpa, as he smirked evilly at him.

**V**

"All right fellas, come on! Come on!" Grandpa stood up and shouted some pep talk to the team, "We can do this!" the team on the other hand, was having an internal conflict themselves as they blamed each other for the mess they were in.

"WHY THE HECK did you leave your post, Stinky?" Helga shouted loudly at him, demanding an answer. "You're supposed to _catch_ the ball, _not_ running away from it!"

"Where the heck are the defenders?" Stinky reasoned back, "They're supposed to help me out! Not standing around like some dang fools!"

"Hey, don't you call us fools, Stinky!" Curly retorted back. And the team just went all crazy and the sportsmanship between them was weakening. As they debated between themselves, the English kids looked at them with a smile on their faces.

"Look at those blokes. They're completely in disarray." David said to Rex, smiling.

"I told you this is going to be a bloody walk in the park." Rex replied back, "With them gits completely in disorder, the chance of winning this match is in our hands, mate."

As the fuming argument continued amongst the Americans, Arnold then suddenly stood out and said to them, "Listen to yourselves! Is this what we've become?" Everyone else stood in silence, lowering their head down from embarrassment because they weren't cooperating like any teamwork should've done. Arnold then continued his speech, "Over there, there are a bunch of people who look down on us because we're not familiar with the game, because we played the _other_ football, and because we really don't stand out in the world in this game."

Lorenzo lifted his hand, "Arnold, we hosted the World Cup back in 1994…" he said to him.

"Out of pity!" yelled one of the English kids. The Americans ignored them.

"Yeah, but still… they're light-years in front of us, we still have lots of catching up—"

Lorenzo lifted his hand again, "Arnold, we're ranked 5th in the world ranking…"

"The rankings are skewed!" yelled yet another English kids.

Lorenzo was about to explode from the demoralizing, and he prompty shouted, "Shut up! We kicked your sorry butt 1-0 in 1950!" that got them to shut up.

Arnold rolled his eyes in realization that he wasted his breath, and finally he gave up his aspiring speech, "All right, forget what I've said, and let's just kick those Limey butts." And then there was cheers coming from the American kids. With the newly found spirit, the American kids went back to their position and they were determined to defeat the English kids. Again, the play started again and the American kids went on the offensive and attacked the English's defenses. The game then went on and on and on, pretty much bore Grandpa Phil to tears, while Rex Senior on the other hand, didn't even blink because he didn't want to miss any action at all.

"My word, how do you people even put up with this sport?" Grandpa yelled frustratingly. "It's so boring! Passing back and forth, back and forth, and with no scores at all! Where's the action at?"

Rex Senior looked at him with narrowed eyes, "That is why you Americans will never appreciate the beauty of this sport. Look at the play, it's all about tactical prowess and strategic planning. There's offence and defence, and there's hearty drama and suspense every time when they're attempting to score a goal."

"I don't even know what you're talking about." Grandpa Phil replied back.

Suddenly, at the English side of the field, an aggression was made where one of the British kids made a sliding tackle on Sid, injuring his knee. "AUUGHH!" he yelled in pain, holding his knee tightly.

"Oh, he's just faking it." Sol scoffed, pointing to Sid. Phoebe then immediately rushed to the field and went over to Sid to inspect the injury. After a thorough examination, Phoebe concluded:

"Unfortunately, he has to leave the field. If I let him play, the injury on his knee will get worse." She said to the American team, which frustrated them even more. They had no choice but to let him go, and put Lila in. Helga slapped her forehead and thought they were done for.

"All right, let's get this over with." Helga said frustratingly. "C'mon, start with the free kick already." One of Rex's teammates placed the ball in front of him and went long near the goal post. After Rex chose the person he was aiming for, he then kicked the ball, sending it to his chosen teammate. But the ball was successfully intercepted by Helga and she immediately ran up to the opposition's goal, while the others ran after her. She saw Lorenzo on the far side of the field and passed to the ball to him. Lorenzo received it and shot the ball to the goal! It missed, hitting the post and deflected to Lila. But Lila stood stunned, with the ball still at her feet.

"What should I do?" she asked.

"KICK IT!" Lorenzo and Helga yelled back. So Lila kicked the ball, and it rolled… and rolled… and rolled… to the goal _very_ slowly, but it went in for some reason. And the American kids triumphantly shouted with joy. Grandpa on the other hand, was humming some patriotic song using his nose, to Rex Senior's ire.

**VI**

The score was now tied 2-2, and the match's tension was on the highest level. By now every one of them were tired and wanted to take a break. As Phoebe put the ball on the centerfield, Arnold and Rex walked to the middle. Before the English kids began the kickoff, Arnold raised his palm, and pause the game. "Look around you Rex, everybody is tired."

"Yes, I am very well aware of that." Rex nodded.

"So, what about this:" Arnold proposed, "Any team who scores the next goal will be considered the winner. How's about that?"

The proposal sparked Rex's interest, as he stroked his chin and smiled maliciously to himself. "We accept." And then both teams huddled up and device some strategy of their own to win the match. After each teams agreed on their plan, they went back to the original position and waited for the kickoff to start. The kickoff started and the English kids went as planned as they masterfully controlled the ball to their advantage. Their plan worked and they were now just near the goal post with almost everyone on the American's side of the field. But something happened that the British kids did not intend, Curly made a sliding tackle and injured on of the strikers, Steven.

"What? No way! He's faking that!" Curly pointed angrily at him, as Phoebe quickly made her way into the field. Convinced that Steven was indeed injured, she said to the players, "I have no choice but to give the English players the penalty kick." Upon hearing that, The English players were jubilant while the American team, Helga and Lorenzo mainly, were angry at the decision. The other scratched their heads, wondering what a penalty kick was.

"C'mon Phoebe!" Helga protested, "Which side are you on?" Lorenzo protested too.

"I _have_ to maintain a degree of professionalism by showing my neutrality here, everyone!" Phoebe retorted back, "Blame on the rules, not on me!" Despite the protests, they reluctantly agreed to the decision and had to give the English kids the penalty kick. The person who will shoot the ball is David. After Phoebe placed the ball directly in the middle of the penalty box, David walked in as his teammates and his opponents watch. Stinky was all alone, defending the goal post. He began to sweat nervously and his heart was racing fast. David could only smile back, confident that he'd score the goal. He then began his run. David's teammates were ecstatic, while his opponents feared the worst. Arnold and Rex's respective grandfathers crossed their fingers.

The ball went straight above the goal post, much to the American's delight, and the English kids' dismay.

"YA BLOODY CHAV!" Rex yelled angrily at David, "You blew it!" his anger was too shared by his teammates. "Cor blimey! Is there some kind of curse where every sod named David would always mess up a penalty kick?"

"Oh, ya bloody git!" Rex Senior stood up angrily as he took his hat off and threw it on the ground and stomped on it repeatedly, "What a bunch of rotters…" Grandpa Phil who was watching Rex Senior could only laughed at his antics. The game resumed again, after Stinky kicked the ball high in the air. Unfortunately, it landed near Rex and he immediately went through the American kids' defenses. The relief was cut short, and all the American kids scrambled to their side of the field to defend their goal. Rex wanted to do it right, as what David made before was an embarrassment enough. He was now completely surrounded, but wait! He saw Sol completely unguarded! He then passed the ball to him by lob kicking to him. Sol jumped up, giving the ball a diving header to the goal…

**VII**

Everyone ran up to Sol and gave him a hug, for he won the English team the match. The American kids took the final score heavy-heartedly. Rex Senior was dancing joyfully on the bench as Grandpa looked at him irritably with his long face. Grandpa then tipped him over and Rex Senior fell down to the ground, "My back!" Grandpa Phil then got up from the bench, laughing to himself.

"C'mon guys… let's go…" Arnold said to his friends, and left the field. But just then, he felt someone had put a hand on his shoulder. He turned around, and saw Rex and his gang giving them a smile.

"You blokes are indeed, worthy opponents. Our hats off to all of you. You chaps are not that bad at all." Rex said. This indeed, was a true meaning of sportsmanship. Arnold's team lost gracefully. "You know, for a bunch of Americans…" Rex added jokingly, but both of them laughed.

"Yeah, I guess we are." Rex then extended his hand to Arnold and he gladly shook his hands with him. Just then the other players did the same to each other. "Thank you for playing with us." Arnold said to Rex.

"Indeed. Ring us up when you blokes want to play with us again." He replied back, waving his hand to him as he walked away from the field. The American kids on the other hand, took the opportunity to relax in the middle of the field.

"I told you it was a great game, man." Gerald said, as he patted Harold's shoulder.

"Yeah…" he replied back, "I think I wanna play this game more." Just then, a group of Mexican exchange students walked into the field and saw them sitting the middle.

"_iDios Mio!_ They're _actually_ playing f_útbol_ instead of _béisbol_?" said one of the students, smiling broadly.

"No, we're actually playing soccer. Wanna play against us?" Helga said with a grin.

* * *

Well, thanks for reading everyone, and leave a review! And I hope any team that you're rooting for will lose:)  



	6. Eps 8: No Way Olga!

_Author's Note: _This episode marks the first Arnold-Helga related episode in this fanfic. Given that Arnold's affection towards older women is undeniable, (Ruth, that subsitute teacher, Summer) it's kinda fun to see what would happen if he actually falls for Olga. How would Helga react? Dress in a wedding dress and starts to hack the both of them away:)

* * *

**Legal junk: I don't own Hey Arnold, but Nickelodeon does and Mr. Craig Bartlett created it. But this fic belongs to me. Clear? Good.**

Episode 8: No Way Olga!

**I**

It was night at this time. Helga's piercing narrowed eyes gazed hatefully at a marked calendar in front her. She had her eyeballs focused contemplatively at one particular date circled with red ink. There was a caricature of a skull and cross bone hanging on a noose. Next to it, 'Olga's back' was written in big, red, and alarming letters.

"Rrrr…" Helga growled under her breath angrily. "Olga…" she said as she threw a pair of scissors at it. "That perfect _sister_ of mine is coming back today." The pointy end of the scissor hit directly at the marked date. "I bet she has thought a lot of stuff to make me miserable during her stay here." A butter knife flew over and hit the same spot, stunning Helga, "Wow, I must be tougher than I thought." She said to herself, looking at her hand. She then paced around her room, "What kind of fiendish plot is she devising to make my life a living h—"

"Helga!" Miriam cut her off from the front door, "Your sister's here."

"Terrific…" she said through her clenched teeth, "Another _stupendous _entrance from Olga Pataki…" she then opened her door and trudged to the front door, only to see her sister being greeted happily by both of her parents. Helga narrowed her eyes and rolled them around in disgust. She bet that if she ran away, they wouldn't even notice.

"Is that you, baby sister?" Olga said sweetly as she looked up at the stairs.

Helga said with a fake joy and a fake smile, "Yup, it's me! Your widdle sister!" she spread her arms wide.

"Oh!" Olga screamed joyfully as she ran up to her widdle sister, "I miss you so much!" and she then gave Helga a kiss on the forehead and hugged her. To Helga's shock, there was enormous bright red lipstick stain on her forehead that kind of looked like a giant third eye that she could shoot lasers from it. The image of seeing her sister crumbled into ash excited her somewhat.

"Ah, let your sister rest for a while girl." Bob said to Helga, "and uh… and you can help Olga here with her bags!" Helga was even more shocked to see Olga's luggage, for she could fit inside, and would still leave a room for another! And as Miriam and Bob escorted Olga to the living room, they left Helga with the trouble of carrying Olga's bag into her room. It didn't matter to Helga much though, since Olga would pay her for the trouble and if she had some time to spare, she would rummage through her bag, reading her diary and laugh at her bra size and whatnot.

So after she had her fun reading Olga's diary, Helga went down to join her family with her heart's content. She saw Bob, Miriam and Olga watching TV. Olga gave her sister a smile when she noticed she was in the room, and said, "Helga, can I talk to you for a moment?"

A blank look only greeted Olga after that. Then, Helga shrugged her shoulders and replied, "Whatever." And she walked back out of the living room while Olga walked behind her. The both of them were in the kitchen now, and Helga then turned around, facing her sister and said, "Yes? What do you want?"

Olga then kneeled down and placed both of her hands on Helga shoulder, looking at her apologetically, "Helga, I want apologize for not spending as much time with you as much as I wanted to…" brim of tears could be seen on her eyes.

Helga lifted one half of her eyebrow, looking at her incredulously. "Uh… huh…?"

"Therefore, while I am here, I want to make amends." Olga said back, "How about we, just the both of us, spend some quality time together tomorrow, what do you say? Just the two of us. Without mommy and daddy. Just us sisters. How's about that?"

The proposal was greeted great skepticism from Helga, "What's the catch?"

"Oh, nothing." Olga replied back, beaming, "What makes you think I have a hidden agenda, baby sister? You big silly, you." She said back, playfully pinching Helga's nose. "I just want to spend some time together. Maybe we could go the mall—"

"TO THE MALL?" Helga replied back enthusiastically. She had her eye set on some new shoes she had been fond of for a while.

"May be." Olga replied back again, "Or the park after that."

**II**

_Morning…_

"So let me get this straight." Helga scowled as she watched Olga at the cotton candy booth in the middle of the park, "The reason why we're at the park is that you _DON'T_ want to drive to the mall? They invented subways to counter that kind of lazy thought, Olga!"

"Oh, come on baby sister." Olga replied back after saying thanks to the cotton candy man, "What's not to like about the park? We can get fresh air, the wide open space, it's a perfect way to spend our quality time together." She said as she gave one of the cotton candy to Helga. She sighed in annoyance and grabbed the cotton candy that was offered to her. They then continued their walk as Olga pointed out the various scenes and plants to Helga, much to her annoyance, thought she didn't voice her opinion about the boring tour. As the tour went on, a football suddenly dropped in front of them, stopping at their tracks.

Then, Arnold came into the view to retrieve the ball back, "Excuse me, ladies." Arnold said politely to them as he picked up the ball. Arnold's presence there delighted Helga, feeling that this boring trip was finally worthwhile after all. As she sighed admirably at him, Arnold accidentally tripped over a small rock and bruised himself. Both sisters were stunned, and quickly came to his aide.

"Are you okay, Arnold?" Helga asked concernedly. She then shook her head violently, and rephrased, "I mean, see, that would happen if you didn't watch your step!"

Olga inspected the small bruise on Arnold's leg, and smiled to herself. "Oh, you shouldn't be worried about this silly little problem. Just make sure you get home right now and apply some antiseptics and Band-Aid on the bruise."

"Uh… thanks, Olga. For helping me out." Arnold replied, smiling at her.

"It's no problem at all. I'm just glad to help my baby sister's friends." she playfully pinched Arnold's cheek, and then, much to Helga's shock and horror, Olga gave Arnold a soft kiss on the cheek, which stunned and pleased Arnold so much, he felt like he was in heaven. After the kiss, she then walked away, leaving Arnold to sigh blissfully and Helga to be jealous enviously.

"Hey, whoa, whoa, hey!" Helga protested as she walked after her sister, "What the hack was that? Can you do that? I mean, he's a minor Olga, you can't do that in public!" Just then, Arnold's friends came to him and looked at the lucky guy in awe and disbelief.

"Ya one lucky sonufagun, Arnold." Stinky said to him.

"Man, Helga's sister just kissed you." Sid said to him. "Did you get any of her cooties? Because I'm not going anywhere near you if you're infected!" But Arnold didn't answer any of his friend's questions, and he remained in his own little world, being blissfully happy.

"Arnold?" Gerald said as he snapped his fingers repeatedly in front of his face, but there was no response from him. "Mmph. Mmph. Mmph." Gerald shook his head. He then turned to his friends and said, "Okay, who wants to smack him back to reality?"

"Ooh! I do! I do!" Harold gladly volunteered as he raised his hand and jumped repeatedly behind Stinky and Sid.

**III**

Minutes after, the guys were on their way home after their morning exercise in the park. Gerald, Sid and Arnold were seen walking together, approaching Gerald's residence. In front of the house, Jamie O was seen underneath his car, tinkering with the engine. "So how was the kiss like, man?" Gerald asked. "Was it amazing?"

"Oh, man." Arnold replied back, smiling broadly, "It was beyond words man. It's so hard to believe that a grade school kid like me could get a kiss from a college girl like Olga. It was like, once in a lifetime opportunity to get kissed by the likes of her. You know something? I think she likes me."

"Oh no. There he goes…" Sid replied back teasingly, tapping the bat repeatedly on his shoulder, "Bragging about it."

"Hey, I'm not bragging. It's just… I just got lucky, that's all." Arnold replied back, smiling at his friends.

"Who got lucky?" Jamie O said as he emerged out of the car. He was covered in grease.

"Big man Arnold here got lucky big brother." Gerald replied, pointing to Arnold with his thumb. "Apparently, my friend's sister gave Macho Ladies man here a kiss." He teased him. Arnold replied back by pushing him away playfully and said "shut up!" with his face reddened.

"Heh, you lucky dog you." Jamie O said as he cleaned his hands with a rag. "Let me guess, it's Olga, ain't it?"

"How'd you know man?" Sid asked.

"Hey, _everyone_ knows Olga in my school, little man, 'cause she's _the_ most popular girl in school before she went off to college. And she's pretty hot too. Pretty _and_ hot. Aww yeah." The kids looked at each other incredulously. Jamie then began to fantasize about Olga and started to develop a somewhat perverted grin on his face, "Man, I'd do anything to get into her—" realizing that were children present, Jamie O then stopped and said to them, "Uh… I think it'd be the best if you kids go home now. You guys ain't old enough for this kind of talk."

Sid lifted his pointing finger, "But—"

"I SAID GO HOME NOW!" Jamie O screamed, and quickly the kids scrambled over to their homes in fear.

Little that they knew Helga was in the nearby bushes, undetected, unnoticed, listening to their every conversation from the beginning to the end. Helga then went out from her hiding place and walked over to a safe corner nearby rather hastily. After checking that nobody was in sight, Helga then took her Arnold locket out from a pocket, opened it, and then she gazed lovingly at bored looking picture of Arnold inside it. She smiled a goofy smile, and then began recite some poetry of her one true love.

"Oh Arnold. The Custodian to the gates of my heart, and The Protector of my uneasy soul. I've been longing for your love and companionship, and yet," Helga's loving gazed drastically turned into an angry scowl, "you-are-still-_oblivious_ about my needs! Are you _that_ stupid?" she yelled at the bored looking picture of Arnold as she punched his face repeatedly, "It's bad enough that evil sister of mine is slowly turning you into her gullible pawn. Can you at least show some sign of intelligence to combat this maleficent evil and come back to my arms so we can forever and ever be— OW!" a crumple of paper was thrown at her. She turned around and saw Gerald looking at her from a window.

"_What_ are you doing in my alley, girl?" Gerald asked her angrily.

"I didn't realize _this_ is _your_ alley, Geraldo!" Helga snapped back angrily, "'Cause I didn't see your name on it!"

"Technically, this is my alley, since my house is next to it!"

"No it's not! Unless you can prove it, this alley belongs to the city and it's my right to walk wherever I darned well please!" She then lifted a lid of one random thrash can and forced Brainy out of it by clutching both of her hands on his shirt collar. "I don't see you get angry at him!" Helga yelled at Gerald, trying to justify herself of her unintentional trespassing. She then punched Brainy in the face and left the alley, "'Sides, your alley is lame anyway!"

Gerald could only looked at Helga in disbelief as he shook his head, "Mmph. Mmph. Mmph." He then closed the window, and walked into the living room to watch some Pop Daddy on the tube.

**IV**

_Five days later in school, lunch time…_

"I'm going to tell her." Arnold said in full confidence to his friends. "I'm going to tell her that I'm falling in love with her."

"Arnold!" Sid pleaded, "Please don't do this! She's going to _murder_ you if you say it to her!" he then grabbed Arnold by his shirt collar and shook him, "Think about the consequences if you told her about it! I _don't_ want you to die, Arnold!"

"Sid, let go off me…" Arnold warned, looking at Sid angrily.

Sid could only smile innocently at him back, and slowly he lifted his hands away from him, "Oh… heh, sorry man. I guess I got carried away."

"Besides, you're being too paranoid." Arnold replied back, fixing his shirt back after being messed up by Sid. He then stood up and said gallantly to his friends, "I'm going to tell her, and that's final." His friends, Gerald, Sid, Harold, Stinky and the likes, nodded cautiously at his decision. He then walked slowly up to Helga to approach her. In the middle of the journey, he turned around, and said to his friends, "Pray for me and wish me luck." His friends then pray for him according to their respective beliefs, in hoping that their prayers will be answered. He then continued on walking.

As Stinky watched him, he said, "Dead man walking." in a disbelief tone.

"Hey, Helga…" Arnold said nervously. Helga, who was eating a tuna sandwich at that time, suddenly choked on it because of Arnold's unexpected appearance, coughing it out loud. She thumped her chest several times and Arnold quickly helped her by giving her a glass of water. After it was over and she finally caught up with her breath, she looked angrily at Arnold with a scowling look and yelled, "YOU ALMOST GOT ME KILLED, FOOTBALL HEAD!" as she shook her fist.

"I'm… terribly sorry, Helga." Arnold replied back apologetically, as he took a seat next to her.

"What do you want?" she demanded an answer. After that she took another sip of the drinking water that Arnold offered to her.

"Well…" he replied reluctantly, fiddling with his fingers as he watched Helga drinking the water, "I uh… I have confession to make."

Helga widened her eyes and spat out all of the water inside of her mouth in shock. She then looked at Arnold with her mouth dripping with water. "W-what?" she said nervously, "E-excuse me?"

"Over this past few days… I've been… thinking a lot…" Arnold said uneasily, looking deeply into her eyes.

"Yes…?" Helga replied, getting excited.

"I mean, when we were at the park last weekend… with you and your sister and all…"

Helga gulped nervously, "Go on…" her heart began to race and bead of sweat began to develop on her forehead and her palms.

"I just want to say that I'm…" Arnold reluctantly wanted to press on.

Helga on the other hand, couldn't stand it any longer, "WHAT?" she shouted anxiously as she stood up and grabbed Arnold by his shoulder, "TELL ME! TELL ME WHAT DO YOU WANT TO SAY TO ME!" she yelled in front of his face. She was fidgeting. The tension was unbearable.

Struck by the enormous pressure, Arnold then forcibly told her, "I-I… t-think… I'm in love with your sister."

"…"

It was a long, _long_ time before either of them spoke. Both of them gazed blankly in stun at one another. Helga slowly lifted her hands away from him and slowly sat back on her seat. Then, after a while, Helga lifted her pointing finger up, and opened her mouth, and she tried to produce some words at Arnold. But unfortunately, she couldn't find the right words, and she just left her mouth wide open, exposing it to the surroundings. She then closed her mouth again and lowered her finger down. But, a second later, she did it again! But, like the former, she couldn't say anything and left her mouth wide open. Arnold was very reluctant to open his mouth at this moment, as he feared that Helga would do something horrible to him. During the third time, which Helga performed the exact same action, she nonchalantly said, "Excuse me for a while." And she got off from her seat calmly as she made her way to the cafeteria doors.

Arnold and his friends could only watch her in a curious, yet uneasy manner. Helga made her way into the little girls' room, and proceeds into a random stall. "EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!" she cried out a disbelieved scream, which could be heard throughout the city.

"Well, ah suppose she kinda took tah news rather pleasantly…" Stinky said to his friends, after hearing the scream.

**V**

_Few days later…_

It was noon at this time, and Arnold and Gerald was seen walking along the sidewalk. Apparently Arnold had something in his hands as he looked at them happily. "This letter and flowers will tell Olga my true feelings about her." Arnold said to Gerald. "She's going to like it, I'm sure of it."

Gerald could only shake his head in disbelief, "You know, you could always let the postal service send that letter for you."

"Nah, they take too much time just for sending this kind of stuff." Arnold replied, "Besides, I want this to be special. I want to deliver it myself to Olga so she knows that I really care about her."

"Arnold…" Gerald sighed in disbelief, with his hand visibly shaken, wanting to smack Arnold in the head. But he calmed himself down, and replied, "What chances do you think you have with her? I mean, she's a college girl and you… you…"

"What?"

"You're in grade school, man! You can't go out with her!" Gerald replied back, smacking his forehead. "All I'm trying to say is that, chances are, you're either gonna get rejected, or laughed at. There's _no_ _way_ a college girl would _ever_ go out with a kid who hasn't even hit puberty yet!"

"Well, at least I tried." Arnold shrugged.

Gerald couldn't believe the sheer determination of his friend. With a sigh he replied, "You're a bold kid, Arnold. A bold kid."

"WHY? WHY? WHY?" Helga screamed as she paced around in her room, "How could this happen to me? I just want Arnold to myself, and then stuff like _this_ happens to me? Ohh… Why did I go along with her dastardly schemes on going to that stupid park in the first place anyway?" she then opened the closet door and gazed deeply at her Arnold shrine, "And so here where I stand… forlornly dejected due to my careless mistake, letting my sister took the upper hand. Oh, Arnold…" she said, softly caressing the head made out of a worn-out football, "Why do you betray me so? Olga isn't the one you should care about… it should be me! I mean, we're both in the same age group… and she's… and she's…"

Suddenly she was interrupted by a knock at the door, "Helga!" Miriam called.

"WHAT?" Helga yelled back.

"Your friend is downstairs." She said back, "Two boys… I think."

Helga was somewhat surprised, "What? Who?"

"Oh… how should I know, honey…" her mother replied back in a flustered, bored tone.

"_Boys?" _Helga said in her mind. She then bolted through the door and ran down the stairs to the front door. Through the peephole, Helga could see a distorted, yet rounded image of Arnold and Gerald on her stoop. She quickly turned around and leaned on the door, putting both of her hands on her heart. "Arnold is here?" she said to herself incredulously. "My object of desire is here? Now? In front of my house? Looking for me? Asking me to marry him? Wait… the latter one is impossible as of now." She then turned around again, looking back into the peephole. She could see Arnold yawning and Gerald checking his watch. She then took a deep breath and said, "Okay… calm down Helga ol' girl." she was trying to compose herself. "Act natural…" she then opened the door, and first thing she did was looking at Arnold angrily.

"Oh… it's you two. The Dynamic Duo of Super Football Head and Ultra Tall Hair Boy." She mocked them snidely, much to Arnold and Gerald's chagrin. "Well, come on. What is it? I don't have all day."

"Uh… hi Helga. Is your sister home?" Arnold asked.

Helga produced a long face after hearing that, "Uh… what? I thought you two wanted to see me."

Arnold and Gerald looked at one another, and then they looked back at Helga, "Uh, no… we told your mom that we—"

"Not 'we', man." Gerald interjected, "'You', just you."

"Uh… yeah." Arnold replied back, rubbing the back of his head nervously, "I uh… I want to see your sister, Olga."

Helga began to narrow her eyes, looking angrily at Arnold, "You want to see, _who_?"

"Your sister." Arnold replied back, rather nervously. "I think your mom heard me wrongly just now. Well, you see, I think your sister likes me, and uh… if you don't mind…"

And Helga just exploded angrily, "WELL OF COURSE I DO MIND, FOOTBALL HEAD! What are you thinking? She's _way_ too old for you!"

"See, Helga agrees with me." Gerald said to Arnold, smiling at him.

"Don't rub it in, Gerald." Arnold replied back. "Please Helga, just this one favor," he said, producing cute puppy dog eyes, "and I promise I will never ask you anything again."

The puppy dog eyes successfully changed Helga's mind, "Oh… all right. I need a good laugh anyway." Helga turned around, laughed softly as she said to herself, "This is going to be _sooo_ fun!" she then rubbed her hands with glee, "Hey, Olga!"

**VI**

Olga descended down the stairs and was kind of surprised to see her baby sister and her friends at the front door. Helga then took a few steps away and leaned on a wall nearby as she crossed her arms, revealing Arnold holding a bouquet of flowers and a piece of letter, smiling goofily at Olga. Olga chuckled softly at Arnold's antics and said to him, "Oh… that's so cute! Are those for me?"

"Uh… hi… uh… O-Olga…" Arnold replied nervously, like a kid on his first 'date'. "I… uh…" he said, stuttering, "These are… for uh, for uh, me! No, wait, no! For you! _You_!"

"Oh, thank you!" Olga replied back as she rubbed his head and took the flowers and the letter from him. Gerald was stunned to see that Olga actually accepted Arnold's gifts while Helga looked at the scene with jealousy and contempt. As Arnold watched Olga smelling the flowers, he nervously said:

"This is just to show my appreciation towards you after all you had done back when we were in the park." Arnold said, grinning broadly at her.

Olga was taken aback, since she never did give him any actual help, aside from giving him that one small advice. But, she continued to smile politely at Arnold and said, "Oh, you silly. You don't have to go through all the trouble buying these gifts just to show your appreciation to me."

"B-but, I have to!" Arnold replied back, "That way, I can show you my true feelings for you!" Upon hearing that, Helga widened her eyes in horror and disbelief. Gerald cringed, knowing that Arnold will get turned down.

Olga lifted one of her eyebrow in shock, "Pardon me?" she asked in disbelief, as she put the flowers away on a stand.

"I-I… I-I-I… I love you, Olga." Arnold replied back, as he went down on his knees, took Olga's right hand, and kissed it. "I mean, y-you gave me a kiss when we were at the park right? That means you like me, right?"

"_Oh no…"_ Olga thought in disbelief, as she put her other hand over her mouth, _"Poor boy._ _He greatly misunderstood it."_ Olga slowly pulled her hand away from Arnold, and caressed his hair with it. "I think we have _big_ misunderstanding here." Olga replied sweetly as she gave Arnold another smile, as he looked at her back in great disbelief. Helga let out huge sigh of relief upon hearing while Gerald could only slapped his forehead, for his prediction was indeed, true.

"Arnold, the reason why I gave you a kiss was because I wanted to lift your spirits up, to make you feel better because of that bruise you received. Nothing more." Olga explained, while still retaining her smile. Arnold began to frown. His heart was crushed. "Oh… cheer up, Arnold. I know you'll find another person you can devote to." She said, softly caressing his face. "Maybe... I don't know… you gonna have to wait ten more years before you can finally go out on a date with me." She said, smiling. Arnold finally began to smile back, slowly accepting the truth. Helga was elated with joy and was seen smiling broadly.

"_Ooohh… she dumped you! She dumped you _good_!" _Helga thought happily in her mind.

"Well… that's okay… I guess… So… I guess you can't accept those flowers, right?" Arnold said, smiling weakly at her.

"Unfortunately no." Olga replied, as she grabbed the flowers from the stand, "But it was sweet of you to buy them for me. Maybe you can give these lovely flowers to some other girl that you're fond of." She then gave the flowers back to Arnold. "You take care of the bruise now, okay." And with that, Olga concluded by giving Arnold another kiss on the cheek, to both Gerald and Helga's surprise. "And that's for making you feel better," as she playfully pinched his cheeks. Arnold snickered softly and replied:

"Yeah, I know. Thanks for telling the truth, Olga." And with that, Olga gave Arnold wave and went up to her room back. Helga then approached Arnold said to him, "Man! I bet that was an _enormous_ heartbreaker, wasn't it?"

"Yeah," Arnold replied weakly, "Still, I am proud of it though."

Gerald moved towards Arnold and put his hand on his shoulder, "Well, you did your best man. You just gonna hafta wait ten more years before you can date her."

"Yeah…" Arnold replied weakly, "But… she'd probably gotten married by then."

"Cheer up, man." Gerald replied, patting Arnold's shoulder, "There's plenty of girls in the world, and one of them is destined to be with you." Gerald's comment soothes Helga, as she felt she was the one destined to be with Arnold, forever. "C'mon, let's go to Slausen's. I'm buying you ice-cream." Gerald said to Arnold, which he greatly accepted.

"Thanks Gerald. You're a pal." Arnold then looked at Helga. "Helga, since I have no use for these flowers, you can take it." he offered her the flowers. Helga was absolutely shocked, and she had this silly looking smile across her face, sighing blissfully.

Then she slapped herself and scowled, "Uh… yeah, yeah. Whatever, _Football_ Head." And she snatched the flowers from Arnold. He wasn't angry at Helga's attitude display, for he knew the girl well, and left her with her own antics.

"Well, I see you later, Helga." Arnold waved at her, and left her house, walking with Gerald to Slausen's.

**VII**

Helga watched them walking away from the house, and after they were out of her sight, she sighed blissfully as she hugged the bouquet of flowers tightly. "Ooh… thank you so much, Arnold. And thank you Olga, for dumping Arnold so he could give these flowers to me…" She then ran into her room, into her closet, and put those beautiful flowers around her Arnold shrine. After she was satisfied with the arrangements, she took out her little pink book and her little pink pen and began to write some grade school-level poetry about her beloved Arnold.

As Arnold and Gerald were walking along, Gerald said to his best friend, "So, have you learned a valuable lesson today, my friend?"

"I think so…" Arnold replied unsurely, smiling at his best friend back, "I'll have to wait until I'm old enough to date a girl like Helga's sister."

"Actually," Gerald replied, "I was thinking something along the line of 'I'm _terrible_ with older women, so I should stop trying.'" The both of them laughed, but Arnold felt a little bit insulted by Gerald's comment. He then gave Gerald a playful jab on the shoulder, and Gerald replied back with a more, harder one. Then, they playfully started to trade punches and Gerald successfully pushed Arnold away from him.

"Race ya!" and Gerald ran hastily away.

"Hey, that's not fair!" Arnold replied back good-naturedly and ran after his best friend.

* * *

I wish I could make this story longer though, given the comedy goldmine of this type of plot. Well that's about it. I hope you enjoyed reading it and please leave a review.  



	7. Eps 9: Pigeon Mystery

_Author's Note: _In the whole entire show, I would say my most favorite character of all is Stoop Kid. Yes, Stoop Kid. Not Arnold, not Gerald, not Helga, not Lila, not anyone else for that matter. I don't know... he has that certain... something... quality attached to him. Like mystery. Or the fact the dude is pretty laid back, crazy and yet insane. Screw the others man, Stoop Kid is the character of this generation. No doubt about it.

* * *

**Legal junk: I don't own Hey Arnold, but Nickelodeon does and Mr. Craig Bartlett created it. But this fic belongs to me. Clear? Good.**

Episode 9: Pigeon Mystery  


**I**

Arnold and Gerald were walking down the sidewalk as they threw to each other back and forth a baseball. The street that they were walking on was very familiar to them, because this was the street where Stoop Kid resided. The abandoned tenement that used to be Stoop Kid's humble abode was upgraded and retrofitted into a classy condominium recently. Rather than kicking Stoop Kid out of the place, the landlord was kind enough to help Stoop Kid out by giving him a job as a doorman in the establishment and let him sleep nearby the stoop. Stoop Kid proudly accepted the offer, since he did not want to be parted with his beloved stoop. And with Arnold's help, he turned Stoop Kid from a futureless junkie to an upstanding citizen overnight. He now has a nice looking hair and he proudly wears his red doorman uniform.

"Good afternoon Miss Vanderfeller." He greeted politely to the kindly old lady as he opened the door for her, "Nice weather we're having."

"Hey Stoop Kid." Arnold greeted him, waving his hand.

"GET AWAY FROM MY ST— oh, it's you Arnold. What are you doing here, man?"

"We just got back from playing baseball." He replied back, smiling at him.

"How's the job so far man?" Gerald asked him.

"Wow, this is great!" Stoop Kid exclaimed happily. "I get three square meals a day, this brand _spanking_—" he randomly slapped some lady's behind as she squealed "Ooh!" while opening the door for her, as she looked at Stoop Kid in disgust and horror, "new uniform, and with an adequate pay too! Plus I get to sleep here man. There's no way I'm ever leaving this stoop."

Suddenly a bird doodie dropped onto his stoop, enraging and angering Stoop Kid. "I TOLD YOU NOT TO LET YOUR STINKING BIRDS DEFILE MY STOOP YOU IDIOT!" Stoop Kid shouted furiously at the guy on the roof of the opposite building.

"Who are you yelling at, Stoop Kid?" Arnold asked.

"Ah, it's that stupid dumb hobo guy who just moved in there a couple of weeks ago. Since then, pigeons started to flock the place making the whole _stinking_ neighborhood stink with bird poo!" Stoop Kid said loudly and angrily at them, pointing at the rooftop.

"Wait a minute." Arnold said, producing his palm to stop Stoop Kid from saying anything, "Did you just say pigeons?"

"Are you _deaf_, kid?" Stoop Kid shouted back, "Of course I said pigeons! There's nothing stinkier than those flying poop factory flying around you and suddenly drops a load on your stoop! Or on my nicely pressed uniform for that matter! I want that guy out of here!" and then an old guy walked up to the stoop, and Stoop Kid politely opened the door for him, "Good afternoon, Dr. Kleiner. I hope the experiment back at the lab went well today." Stoop Kid was suffering from bipolar disorder, Gerald thought. "Look guys," he continued, "I'd love to have a little chat with you, but I have a job to do."

"Yeah, we understand." Gerald said, nodding. "See ya around, Stoop Kid." And the both of them walked away and waved at him.

"And if you ever find that hobo guy around, make sure you guys beat him up!" Stoop Kid, shaking his fist. Arnold and Gerald walked away, and as soon as the both of them walked out of his sight, Arnold said to Gerald:

"Gerald, I think the hobo that Stoop Kid's been talking about is The Pigeon Man."

"The Pigeon Man?" Gerald said, shocked. "No way! Didn't he leave the city after Harold, Sid and Stinky trashed his place?"

"He didn't say he's leaving the city, Gerald. He just said that he wanted to move to a better place." Arnold explained. "And I think this is the better place that he has been searching for."

"So what are you going to do?"

"I'm going to pay him a visit Gerald. I want to know what has been up to. And if I'm up to it, I just might help Stoop Kid with his problems."

Gerald shook his head, smiling. "You're a bold kid Arnold. A bold kid."

**II**

It had been a while since the last time Arnold saw Pigeon Man. Arnold could remember it quite vividly: It was an amazing sight to behold when he saw him flew to the sunset with the aid of his pigeons. He wondered what has become of him now that he finally found a place to live. He was ascending up the stairs to the rooftop so he could once again, have a talk with Pigeon Man. Hopefully he'd still remember him.

Arnold opened the damaged door to the roof and scanned around. Looks like Pigeon Man had put some pretty cool decorations around the roof. There were lots of handcrafted pigeonholes around the place and some bizarre structures made out of wires in far and between. There were also birdseeds and some bird poo practically littering the floor and Arnold tried to be careful not to step on them. He wandered around and saw a figure at the end of the ledge while some birds flocking around him. That must be The Pigeon Man. Arnold carved himself a smile and he quickly went up to him.

"Coo… Coo…" The Pigeon Man cooed as he fed a pigeon from his hand. Arnold could see the pigeon pecking his hand, reaching for the seed.

"Pigeon Man?" Arnold said humbly.

Pigeon Man turned around slowly, but still, the pigeons surrounding him didn't fly away. They do maintain a special bond together. Pigeon Man carved a soft smile at Arnold, as he was happy to see him again. "Arnold." He spoke softly.

Arnold then grinned back, and stood next to him while looking at him feeding the birds. "So this is the place, huh?" he asked.

"It most certainly is." He spread his arm wide, and all of the pigeons flew away majestically to the sky. It was like a John Woo moment. "So how is Chester?" he asked about Arnold's pet pigeon's wellbeing. He hadn't seen it for some time after Chester recovered.

"Thanks to you Pigeon Man, he's completely recovered." Arnold beamed back at him. They then turned their heads to the street below, looking at Stoop Kid shaking his fist at them.

"ARNOLD YOU TRAITOR!" Stoop Kid shouted angrily at him from the stoop, "How dare you gone to his side! You're gonna pay for this!" Arnold then quickly turned around, stepping away from the ledge and out from Stoop Kid's view. He was a bit scared from the threat.

"Hey man, don't scare the kid!" Pigeon Man shouted back at Stoop Kid.

"Oh wow! Awesome comeback! You defend him old man! YOU DEFEND HIM!" Stoop Kid retorted back, "Mark my words: Someday I'm gonna get you and your stupid pigeons for defiling my stoop!"

"Well, if you'd just stop acting like a dang fool, the pigeons wouldn't have dropped their loads on your precious stoop!" And Pigeon Man sicced his pigeons to bombard the stoop and Stoop Kid himself just to annoy the heck out of him, and the objective was completed successfully.

"Someday I'm gonna get you old man! And you dirty smelly flying rats too! YOU HEAR ME?" Stoop Kid made one final repartee before he went in to wash off the foul thing off his nicely pressed doorman uniform.

Pigeon Man scoffed, and smiled softly, pleased at himself for teaching Stoop Kid a lesson. He then turned around, only to see Arnold sitting on a slab of concrete while feeding the pigeons. Pigeon Man then walked up to him, and asked, "Arnold, I saw you talked to Stoop Kid before you got here. Why are you being friends with him? He hates my friends, has a _huge_ temper and he always yells at you."

"You got it all wrong, Pigeon Man." Arnold replied back as he watched the pigeons eat the bird seeds off from his hand, "He's not always like that. He's always friendly towards me, but… I don't know. I think, ever since you moved into the neighborhood he's been very angry that you made the pigeons… well, drop their loads on his stoop. You should stop them from doing it."

"Arnold, I've trained them to relieve themselves at a place faraway that you couldn't guess."

"It's either at the park or at the plaza near the mall, isn't it?" Arnold asked back, slightly lowering an eyebrow.

"Uh… yeah, but let's not get ourselves into this matter, okay?" Pigeon Man replied nonchalantly. "As I said before, I've trained them to go someplace else. The real reason why my pigeons chose Stoop Kid's stoop to drop their load is because he provoked us first."

"Well, what did he do to make you guys all angry and stuff?" Arnold asked back.

"I remember it quite well." Pigeon Man began to reminisce, stroking his unshaved chin.

**III**

_I was a very much like a nomad before I settled down here. Those were hard times, as I couldn't find any suitable place to stay at all. With the help of my friends, I flew from roof to roof, only to find them unsuitable for me to look out for my friends._

Pigeon Man was high in the sky, flying across a large setting sun in the background. People down below could only looked at him with a sense of awe or in disbelief. Others feared for his safety, and some of them even called him a loon. But Pigeon Man ignored all the comments and continued on his journey finding that perfect place for him and for all of his friends. As he flew across the cityscape, he noticed that he was being lowered down, little by little. He then looked up, and saw his pigeon friends were absolutely weary for flying him around town. Something must be done before they become absolutely tired and couldn't fly anymore. So, Pigeon Man searched around and saw a safe looking rooftop on a tall modern office building.

"Coo…" he cooed to his friends above him, pointing to the office building to their left. And like any other well trained animals, they quickly did as they are ordered and flew to the building. The landing was smooth landing for Pigeon Man, and after he landed, his friends followed suit and all the cords that the pigeons used to carry Pigeon Man zipped back to his belt. All of them collapsed to the ground, panting for air. Pigeon Man sympathized with his friends, and he then took out a bottle of drinking water and poured them into a small bowl that he had brought along with him. And almost instantaneously all of the pigeons got up and scampered to the bowl to quench themselves, creating a frenzy.

Pigeon Man was amused at the foray, as he snickered softly at them. He too, decided to relax by taking a quick nap. When he opened his eyes, he could see the sun was slightly lower at the horizon. He must've overslept. He then looked around of his surroundings. The rooftop was a vast open area, very clean and relatively safe. This could be a perfect place for him and for his friends.

Or so he thought.

Suddenly, he could hear whirling blades of a helicopter coming ever closer at him. He stood up and saw the helicopter, trying to descend down. The whole area began to be swept by the wind generated by the blades, forcing Pigeon Man to take cover behind a small service room. After successfully landed on the rooftop, a person came out of the chopper and ran to a door nearby. He then opened the door, and out came some guy in a business suit with his colleagues and bodyguards following him from behind. The bodyguards then swept around the rooftop, trying to make the area secure. Then suddenly, one of them saw Pigeon Man.

"Ksshh! Code Red! Code Red! Ksshh!" The bodyguard said through his walkie-talkie. "Ksshh! There's an unidentified intruder on the roof! Ksshh!"

Pigeon Man quickly came to his alertness, and he immediately stood up as he spread his arms wide. It was a gesture to summon all of his pigeons to go to him. His friends then quickly perched on the cords and pull them out, thus flying away along with Pigeon Man. Everyone looked back absolutely stunned and disbelief at what did they saw. A middle aged man flying with a help from a flock of pigeons.

_Then I tried another place._

Pigeon Man and his friends then landed on a rooftop of an old steel mill at the outskirts of the city in a quiet abandoned industrial area. He felt this place would be an ideal place since the industrial area was mostly abandoned and the neighborhood was quite quiet. Vegetation began to creep inside the factories and they would provide some extra food for his friends - not to mention, there was a river flowing lazily behind the factory he was on. Pigeon Man then saw an emergency exit ladder at one of the corners and walked there. The roof was sturdy enough for him to walk on.

Or so he thought.

Suddenly, the roof collapsed and he fell into the mill inside, hitting a beam, a crane and finally, a loud thud on the floor. But despite the bone-crunching experience, he survived because he landed on soft vegetation on the beam, crane and floor that broke his fall. After the dust settled, he then got up, groaning in pain as he rubbed his back. The pigeons then flew down and crowded around him. He was glad that he had friends that concerns about his wellbeing.

Pigeon Man then stood up and looked at the enormous hole that he fell in earlier. He changed his mind. This place was not safe at all. Given the current condition, the entire building would collapse soon. And the vegetation surrounding the building would harbor safe sanctuary for predators, like a snake. He then quickly left the abandoned factory and flew away.

_Eventually…_

The search for a perfect haven for him and his pigeon friends was not over, as Pigeon Man once again, heads to the sky in search for that perfect place. He entered a familiar neighborhood, although he was not in the same territory. He was quite jittery at first since he felt the same similar fate could happen to him again if he chose this place, but with options running out, he had to take this place into consideration.

After circling around the neighborhood, much to the enjoyment of onlookers – especially children, he then spotted a place that was almost as the same as his former residence. He then cooed to his friends to ask them to lower him down to that place. The pigeons heeded, and landed Pigeon Man on the building he pointed to. It was an abandoned tenement, much like his old house, but it was much cleaner looking and it wasn't as tall as his old one. The place also was a couple of blocks away from the park, which means his friends could find food there easily, since old ladies would feed bread crumbs and birdseeds at them, thus saving Pigeon Man the trouble finding food. Though, there was a minor annoyance at the opposite of the tenement he was on since there was a reconstruction going on. With the banging and clacking…

Pigeon Man then walked to the ledge and looked down below. He saw Arnold teaching Stoop Kid proper manners of a doorman since the owner of the building was kind enough to give Stoop Kid a job as a doorman at his stoop, if he had the proper manners to work there. Seeing Arnold brought warmness in his heart since he was the only human being in the world that understood him. Due to the strategic place and minor distraction, he then decided that he will stay in this place and create a permanent haven for all the pigeons in the city.

Or so he thought.

After finding enough materials for him to build homes for his friends, he then carried all the building materials on a wheelbarrow out from a junkyard to his new home. As he went pass Stoop Kid's stoop, he looked at the old man with disbelief, but slightly amused at it. "What is that guy doing?" He said to himself. "Oh well, as long as he doesn't annoy me or step on my stoop, he's cool." He then began to read an alphabet book. "G is for gyroscope… H is for hypervelocity…"

But as days went pass by, Pigeon Man kept on bringing stuff into his place, and the sound of the rolling wheelbarrow began to sweep into Stoop Kid's mind, and the sound it made kept playing in his membrane. EVERY. FLIPPING. TIME. It annoyed him to no end. Every time Pigeon Man went pass by, the sound of the rolling wheelbarrow entered his mind, and he began to twitch his eye. He then closed his ears by putting his hands over them and said "LALALALALALALA…" repeatedly. And yet despite all the efforts, the sound still made it into his mind, and finally he snapped.

"HEY OLD MAN!" Stoop Kid yelled angrily at Pigeon Man while pointing furiously at him. Pigeon Man stopped, looking at the weird young man incredulously. "Will you stop carrying all those junk on that stupid wheelbarrow you been keep hauling around? IT'S ANNOYING!"

"Now son, let's be rational here…" Pigeon Man said to calm him down.

"Shut up!" Stoop Kid replied back, looking at Pigeon Man with his narrowed eyes. He then rolled his sleeves up and prepared to cross the street to confront with Pigeon Man. Unbeknownst to Stoop Kid, a rope carrying a bucket of liquid plaster above him suddenly snapped and fell directly onto him. "Oh, snap!" A construction worker yelled as he watched helplessly at Stoop Kid being lathered by a bucket of yucky liquid plaster. Stoop Kid was extremely angry, furious and embarrassed that he got himself into this mess. He then looked up, and saw the rope and a pigeon flying by. He then presumed:

"You did this to me, didn't you?" he yelled accusingly at Pigeon Man.

"Hey, why you're blaming me for? You're the one who's on that spot when that thing falls on you." Pigeon Man replied back coolly.

"LIAR!" Stoop Kid yelled back whiningly, like Anakin Skywalker. "That dumb bird is with you! You sent him to destroy me!"

"What? Listen to yourself. You're making a fool out of yourself!"

"Quiet!" He then ran up to Pigeon Man to give him a beating of his life. Fearful of the safety of their friends, the flock of pigeons then attacked Stoop Kid by pecking and scratching him as Pigeon Man ran to safety. Overwhelmed, Stoop Kid had no choice but to retreat. The pigeons then went back to the roof. By now stoop Kid was all covered in plaster and pigeon feather, and everyone around the block laughed at him. But before he ran in to hide from the shame, he gave Pigeon Man a warning, "I swear to everything that is holy I'm gonna get you and your dirty little friends too! Mark my words!"

**IV**

"Well," Pigeon Man shrugged, concluding his story to Arnold, "That's my story and I'm sticking to it."

"He's mad at you because he thinks that one of your pigeons dropped a bucket of plaster on him?" Arnold asked. "Man, I don't believe it. I think I can help settle this feud, Pigeon Man. Just give me some time to talk to him."

"I'm not going to discourage you Arnold, but hey, do what you hafta do." He said, patting Arnold's shoulder. Then suddenly, they heard a hissing sound and they turned around. Both of them widened their eyes in shock. "Get down!" Pigeon Man shouted as he dived to the floor and forced Arnold to go along with him.

_BOOM!_

And all the pigeons on the roof flew away. "HAHA!" Stoop Kid laughed maniacally, "How'd you like those stink bombs, jerks!"

"And you have to do it quick." Stoop Kid said to Arnold as they ran away from the disaster area. "Even my clothes aren't as smelly as those bombs!"

A day later, Arnold then walked up to Stoop Kid to begin his diplomacy talk with him. At first, it was met with hostilities since Stoop Kid thought he was fraternizing with his enemy. But after Arnold explained the length and breadth of his actions, Stoop Kid then agreed to hear to him, and provide Arnold to his side of the view.

"That jerk is lying to you." Stoop Kid scoffed back, crossing his arms. "C'mon man. I'm your friend Arnold. Would I lie to you?"

"Uh…" Arnold didn't know what to say.

"Okay, let me tell you my side of the story." Stoop Kid replied back. "I was reading the book you gave to me, you know, the 'Proper Doorman Etiquettes for Dunderheads,' which is a great book by the way, when all of the sudden, that stupid old man came rolling with his stupid wheelbarrow, interrupting with my studies. So naturally I was very ticked off and politely said to him that he should keep the noise down. But, being a big fat jerk he is, he angrily and rudely said at me:" he paused for dramatic effect.

"Yes?" Arnold replied.

"NO!" Stoop Kid yelled at Arnold, "He said no, and told me he wants to continue to do this forever just so he enjoys seeing me get all angry and stuff."

"Wow. Then what did you do?"

"Of course, like any other human being, I got angry when all of my polite suggestions are ignored by him. So one day I decided to talk to him. You know, settle this over lunch and all that. But no, he has another plan in his mind. As I prepare myself on meeting him, he secretly ordered his pigeon to put the bucket of plaster over me and bite the rope away. I saw with my very own eyes, man!" Stoop Kid raised his voice suddenly, "One of his flying poop factory carried on a mission to destroy me!"

"Stoop Kid, you can't be destroyed when a bucket of liquid plaster is on you." Arnold replied back, "Yeah, you'd be humiliated of course, but it can't kill you, ya know."

"Hey, I'm still traumatized by the incident, man!" Stoop replied back, holding both of Arnold's shoulders, shaking them. "I have nightmares about it every time I go to sleep! It's crazy, man! See!" Stoop Kid suddenly pointed upwards at Pigeon Man, looking at them.

"Look through those sympathetic eyes and into his evil soul Arnold." Stoop Kid said, "He has one thing in his mind, and he wants me to go away, and leave my stoop. I can't leave my stoop, Arnold. I've been living on this stoop since the history of forever. Parting with it is like leaving your best friend away or throwing your favorite shirt for a new one. I can't do it Arnold. It's just too hard for me." He said melancholically, trying to win Arnold's sympathy.

But Arnold, being a bold and smart kid he was, replied back, "Stoop Kid, you and Pigeon Man gave me two completely different stories altogether, and it's hard for me to say which one of you is to blame about it. Is there a thing, like evidence or something, so I can investigate properly about this?"

"Sure." Stoop Kid motioned his head and hand and let Arnold in. They walked inside the apartment and to a janitor's closet where Stoop Kid kept most of his personal belongings. After a few minutes of rummaging, he then gave Arnold an item for him to investigate.

"A rope?" Arnold said quizzically. "Is that all?"

"That's the only evidence that I can salvage from the scene of the crime. I did give it to the cops but apparently they are too busy finding some bigger fish to fry." Stoop Kid scoffed at the thought of the cops rejecting his evidence.

"Well, beggars can't be choosers… Okay, I'll go have look at this rope tonight and I'll tell you what I've found tomorrow. Thanks, Stoop Kid." Arnold then left, as he and Stoop Kid waved at one another.

That night, Arnold had his head deep into the investigation that he had forgotten about dinner. The door to his room was knocked, and Grandpa showed up with some dinner on a tray. "Hey there Shortman. Still can't find a dang thing about the rope, can ya?" He said, putting the tray next to his grandson on the table.

"Thanks for the dinner Grandpa. But yeah, I can't find anything." He said frustratingly as he threw the magnifying glass that he had held in his hands for quite some time. "Do you have any thoughts about this, Grandpa?"

"Well…" Grandpa said, as he picked the rope up, looking at the end with one of his eyes closed, "If my eyes still hasn't failed me, I say this end here was cut." He then showed the rope to Arnold. Then Arnold came to a realization, that he, or rather his Grandpa, had solved the mystery.

"THAT'S IT!" he exclaimed. "Grandpa, you're a genius!"

"Hehe, naturally." Grandpa replied back proudly.

"This might be just the evidence that I need! I can't wait to tell them what I've found tomorrow!"

**V**

And so on the next day, Arnold rushed to Stoop Kid's and Pigeon Man's place to tell them about the discovery that his grandfather founded. Both of them at first denied the allegation and refused to believe it. But after much persuasion and reiteration about the facts, they finally came to realization that Arnold might hold some credibility to his claims. With that came to rest, now it was time for Arnold to ask the two adversaries to sit at a table together to declare truce and find a common ground so they both could work the problem out together. It was proven harder than Arnold thought.

"Because he's a big jerk, that's why!" Stoop Kid said angrily at Arnold, refusing the idea to meet Pigeon Man.

"C'mon Stoop Kid." Arnold said back calmly, "You know he didn't do it. I thought we're all okay now?"

"Well, I'm still not. Unless he gives me what I want, then I might cooperate."

"He wants me to do _what_?" Pigeon Man said in disbelief after Arnold told him about Stoop Kid's demand.

"Yeah, he wants you to do these things before he can formally accept your apologies. Here's a document of the said demands." Arnold then handed Pigeon Man a document with the list of demands from Stoop Kid. The document was actually a crumpled piece of paper with the list written with a pen with depleted ink.

"1. Wash and clean the stoop for the entire month." Pigeon Man read the demands, "2. A month's supply of Yahoo Soda. 3. Order your birds to stop their bombing raids. 4. All pigeon forces must not fly to this building as the area has been designated as a no fly zone. 5. Read all of the above. Man, I didn't know Stoop Kid can write." Pigeon Man said, looking at Arnold.

"He knows… a bit. I… helped him out at some parts." Arnold replied back, rubbing the back of his neck.

"His claims are outrageous!" Pigeon Man scoffed back, shaking his head. He then placed his hands on his waist, looking at the cityscape, deep in thought. He then sighed deeply, and turned around, looking at Arnold.

"All right, if it's for long lasting peace, I then agree to his demands, under several conditions."

"He wants me to do _what_?" Stoop Kid said in disbelief after Arnold told him about Pigeon Man's demand.

"_Déjà vu._" Arnold thought to himself. "Yeah, he wants you to do these things before he can formally accept your apologies. Here's a document of the said demands." Arnold then handed Stoop Kid a document with the list of demands from Pigeon Man. The document was actually a crumpled piece of paper with the list written with a pen with depleted ink.

"Arnold…" Stoop Kid said shyly as he looked around with his shifty eyes, "You know I can't read… that well…" he whispered back.

Arnold rolled his eyes, and took the paper back from him, "1. Cease hostilities to me and my friends. 2. The bombardment of my abode must come to an end at once. 3. Any form of defamation should also stop without delay. 4. A month's supply of bird seed and bird crumbs. 5. Demands must be met immediately or no deal." Arnold concluded the list.

"Gosh…" Stoop Kid said, scratching his head. "I don't even know some of those words meant." Arnold felt like banging his head against the wall. He then reluctantly went inside the apartment and to the lobby area to ask anyone for a dictionary. Thankfully he found one and ran back to Stoop Kid.

"WHAT! No way!" Stoop Kid replied back furiously.

"C'mon, Stoop Kid. This is the only way." Arnold tried to reason. "Besides, he's not asking much. You just stop making him angry and buy his birds some food. Nothing else that'd put you into trouble."

Stoop Kid gazed at Arnold. Maybe he was right about this. "No funny business?" he asked.

"No funny business." Arnold replied back, grinning broadly.

"Well… okay…"

The diplomatic maneuver pulled by Arnold worked, and now it was time for the two guys to sit together at a table, trying to reach an agreement. They both met at a chess table at the park and they began their talks about their demands and claims. The whole talk was monitored and administered by Arnold. And by the end of the day, they finally reached an accord and they finally declared their truce by shaking their hands.

"So what now?" Stoop Kid asked.

"We're gonna find the culprit who cut this rope." Arnold replied showing them the rope. "Maybe when we find him, we can truly put an end to this feud once and for all."

"But how?" Pigeon Man asked.

**VI**

Arnold then ran into the apartment building and began to search for the landlord. Stoop Kid pointed out that he had an office somewhere at the lobby area. Arnold searched around, and finally saw a door bearing the landlord's name. He knocked the door and was allowed to enter, much to the landlord surprise.

"A kid? What are you doing here?" he asked.

"If I could just have a moment of your time sir, it'd be wonderful." Arnold replied back politely.

The landlord stared at Arnold for a while, contemplating about his request. "All right…" he sighed, "But make it quick."

"Are you the proprietor of this housing establishment, sir?"

"Yes I am."

"Who did you contract for the building's reconstruction?" Arnold asked.

"Uh, it's some company called Bricks & Cements Construction Co. located a few blocks away from this place. Say, why is a young man like you be interested—"

"Thank you very much Sir. Bye!" And Arnold slammed the door, leaving the landlord looking at it in disbelief.

"Crazy kid…" he shook his head, and resumed his work. Outside the room, Arnold then told where they should be heading next. Both former adversaries nodded in agreement, and followed Arnold to the shop that housed the small, privately owned construction company. And remember, Stoop Kid was brave enough to leave his stoop now. Upon entering, they saw many construction workers loitering around the front reception area, chatting, drinking coffee and in some sort of a competition where they bash their heads together to see which hardhat would crack first.

"Where do we start?" Stoop Kid asked Arnold.

"I dunno." Arnold replied, shaking his head. "Let's walk around, maybe we might find some clues." And so the three of them walked around the office area, looking for the guy who cut the rope. The conversation by the workers was also monitored closely by them. By now, all of the construction workers thought the trio might've been lost, but they wouldn't want to take any action since they were too lazy to do it and they knew that security would kick them out sooner or later eventually. Arnold, Stoop Kid and Pigeon Man's effort paid off though, because they could hear a guy talking about the incident.

"So I took my knife out and cut the rope!" A lanky guy said to his big burly colleague. "Then the whole dang thing came crashing to that guy's head!" And he then laughed out loud, as he colleague looked at him in disbelief and displeasure, to hear that his friend was this cruel to some innocent guy beneath it. And by now Stoop Kid was furiously angry. He then rolled his sleeves up and stomp over to that guy. Upon arrival, he tapped the guy's shoulder and he turned around, looking at the somewhat familiar guy.

"Can I… help you?" he asked.

"Are you the guy who worked on the apartment building nearby some couple of weeks ago?" Stoop Kid asked.

"…Yes?"

"And are you the guy who cut this rope," Stoop Kid showed him the rope, "Promptly plunging the liquid plaster on some guy?"

"You saw that, didn't you?" the guy asked again, snickering. This was Stoop Kid's guy. And so Stoop Kid cracked his knuckles, and gave him a punch on the face.

**VII**

"Satisfied now?" Arnold asked, beaming at Stoop Kid as they walked out of the construction company.

"_Utterly_ satisfied." Stoop Kid smiled back.

"So, this means we're all friends now?" Pigeon Man asked them, and Arnold and Stoop Kid agreed. Stoop Kid then extended his hand at Pigeon Man to shake hands with him. While he was a bit surprised, Pigeon Man accepted the gesture and shook his hands with him back. Arnold smiled to himself pleasantly that he finally created peace between the two by being an excellent mediator. Arnold also thought he might make a good diplomat someday.

* * *

I don't like Pigeon Man much, since I prefer Monkeyman more than him. But I have to put him in because it's his story. In term of awesomeness, Monkeyman is about as awesome as Stoop Kid, albeit slightly less awesome. Microscopic less, and all that. Well, that's that. Thanks for reading and please leave a review.  



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